tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61944564720616158622024-03-14T02:41:10.770-07:00MiNe...Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-78827104114811836772013-05-04T10:00:00.004-07:002013-05-04T10:00:45.665-07:00Aflaan<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Can love happen at first sight? And can a single person make all the
difference in your life? Was togetherness necessary for a relation to work out?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I never believed in love at first sight and maybe I
would never believe in it, but while I narrate my story, I myself get confused
about that single theory. Was it love at first sight or was it those talks that
followed the first meeting which made me fall in love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was 15 when I first met him and he was 17 and was
doing his senior year in high school and I met him at an unusual place. Many
people meet in a book store, but no one gets anything beyond an unnecessary
friendly gesture and that was what exactly I received.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was exploring the romantic fiction section, girls
of 15 are fond of romantic fiction, that is a time when they start realising
the real yet virtual world around them and the almost virtual thing called
romance fiction get them head over heels. They start exploring their romance
hero in everybody they come across and they get obsessed with the idea of love
and romantic relations and at that age they would do the stupidest sacrifices.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I glanced into my wallet, I realised that I
couldn’t afford books in airport for double prices. I was about to reach for
the magazine section when he appeared next to me. His arms came first and they
were fair and strong, I doubted some muscles too and then came his face which
was fair and handsome and from a simple and innocent view of an early teen he
was way too sexy. He had small eyes, thick brows and hugely black lashes and he
had this real boyish hair cut short in the back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He smiled at me like any other stranger in a book
store would do and he had dimples on his right cheek like me, I wanted to
admire him for a long time, but I came up to my senses and gave him a smile
back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He was in a t-shirt and shorts, perfect outfit for a
journey according to me and his t-shirt read ‘out of your league’ in bold black
letters and his white t-shirt went well with his brown shorts. His ray ban
sunglass hung out from his short’s pocket and he had a yellowish muffler around
his neck, he was the perfect outcome of the modern generation. And I was
nothing less. I myself was dressed in a casual jean and t-shirt and my handbag
talked about the freak I was. My mom said I looked like a beggar with it, but
honestly it makes me feel hotter. He was checking out my favourite book and was
about to put it back, the conversation was unnecessary but I made it anyway,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You should go for it that is a nice one’ I assured
him and gave another of my trademark smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Uhh, am not really into romance’ he winked at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh, so you were just looking at it absently, I
guess’ I said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, something like that’ he chuckled slightly ‘I
was goanna buy this anyway’ he showed me a crime thriller which he already
chose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Crime thriller, huh?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Boy stuff’ he smiled or should I say grinned?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Actually I have read it’ I teased him and went to
the counter to pay for my Filmfare. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No books, huh?’ he asked me while he waited to pay
behind me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I have got not enough Indian money’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh, dollars then?’ maybe he was teasing me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Dirham actually, I am headed for Dubai’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh, we are on the same flight’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Dubai, huh?’ I enquired.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘London, Emirates connection flight through Dubai’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ok, nice meeting you’ I said as I done paying and
went for the waiting area to sit with the coffee I bought earlier and with the
Filmfare. I felt no urge to look back, ask his name or anything, I just left
him behind and went to my things nor did he follow me despite how much I wanted
him to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you believe in destiny? Maybe from that day on I
started believing in destiny. I had my seat in the third row, left side and
aisle seat. I was wondering about who would take the window seat and whether
that person would mind switching seats. Because I really hated aisle seats for
a reason that everybody pass would nudge you and that was real disturbing stuff
and painful at times. And then he appeared again with his boarding pass,
searching for his seat and he didn’t notice me until he stuffed his relatively
huge backpack to the overboard deck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Wow, you again’ he said and stared at me for a bare
second, he had his novel in his hand, the only thing he chose to sit with while
I had my diary, pen, laptop, cell phone, headset and my favourite novel. I
stuffed them in the seat pocket and made myself comfortable. And he just
settled in fast and buckled the seat belt and connected the stereo to the
system on plane and started listening to god knows what. I didn’t know for what
reason he preferred to talk less, but that was so unfair, fate wanted us to be
friends, that was why we met again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You goanna read?’ I asked and he suddenly got rid
of his stereo and gave me his full attention, well that was gentlemanly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sorry, what?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I was just initiating a conversation’ I confessed
and grinned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hello, I hope that was what you said’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Nope’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hey, leave that, I am Anna by the way’ I offered
him my hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Aflaan’ he shook my hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Strange name’ I commented.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I get that a lot’ he chuckled again and his eyes
narrowed in the process.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He preferred movies over talking. first I wanted to
leave him alone, so I scribbled in my diary and then I couldn’t help talking
and at last he gave up the movie and became a wonderful listener, nodding and
laughing at right times. I talked mainly about my best friend and he said I was
lucky to have such a sacred relation and then I talked about my parents,
siblings and home. Then I ended up talking about my interests, crushes at
school, my favourite subject, my career plans, my dreams and then we got stuck
on Dubai.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I started to explain how and why I loved that place,
how it became another home for me, how fun nights were, how boring days were
and how wonderful boys were. In short words I opened my autobiography in front
of him, at first I thought he would be a mere listener, but while I was
finished with my thing, he opened his book of life for me. About his family,
his younger and only sister whom he loved a lot and about his school, life in
UK and how much he loved India and how desperately he wished to stay back
instead of flying back to London.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">His school life was nothing like mine and he loved
the cold weather and snow like I did, he had a girl friend which he recently
dumped and it was fun hearing how the urban life in London worked out for Indian
teenagers. What I realised was, he was way too different from me and I simply
loved his way of life. The way he lead his days like nothing else mattered, the
way he made use of every single moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He was a city boy with almost western culture but
still the Indian in him was alive. He respected traditions and wished to come
back once and settle in India forever. He said he loved urban life, but also
missed India, the way Indian relations worked out, the Indian weddings, Indian
night outs, Indian street shopping, Indian music and dance and mostly he missed
his grandmother which was the reason for his visit to India alone without his
family at the first place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I never missed India and despite that I always
wanted to leave the country behind and live in Dubai, the city of my dreams
forever. I had no priorities or sympathies like him; all I cared about was me,
I suddenly felt that I was selfish all the time. The funny thing was, in that 3
and half hours, we almost watched a movie, had a perfect dinner and made a
wonderful bond of friendship or whatever. He was not that hard a person like I
thought he was. It was really easy talking to him and I got to know a simple and
small part of the person he was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t know that he was rich, but he explained
what his dad was and how much he wanted to fly economy class. I thought of it as
weird. It was his first economy class journey, I was dying to fly first class
of a luxury plain. He told me that he got a first class ticket to London as the
journey was tiring and long 16 hours and he said he was glad that he took
economy for Dubai so that we met. I really wanted to be flying to London
instead of Dubai and spend those 16 hours with him instead of those 3 hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He bought me a gold plated locket from the onboard
duty free and I loved it. It was a simple and elegant knot and expensive of
course. I was modest at first but I did accept his gift, considering the fact
that we may never cross each other’s path again, it was kind of symbol that
told me that, that 3 hours were real.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We shared a last cup of sweet tea and my favourite
song which he liked, he smiled and stared at me all through the song and said I
had a great taste for music. He desperately wanted to read my pocket diary and
I let him. He told me that I should write more and that he loved my words and I
promised him that once I would publish my stuff and then he would remember that
3 hours and that I would dedicate him one of my stories, so that he would know
that I was real and the simple relation we had was real too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There was an announcement that the plane was about
to reach the grounds of Dubai in a few minutes. I felt sad for landing for the
first time in my life, I didn’t want that to end, the spell to break, but there
was nothing I could do. I kept my face pleasant though my inside was screaming
out loud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I need you to keep this’ I gave him my favourite
book.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘This is the same book, right?’ he asked while
examining that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘My favourite of all times, I have read it like a
thousand times’ I smiled a sad one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh, then I shouldn’t take it from you’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It’s ok, I want you to have it and read it; that is
a nice story’ I assured him again, for the second time in that same day and he
smiled back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Shouldn’t be bad and I will definitely read it’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘This is my first copy, I had it when I was 13 and I
have underlined all my favourite parts’ I gave him the unnecessary extra
detail, after all nothing I said was specifically necessary. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Think I too will love your favourite parts’ he said
as he went for it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I will underline again while I get a new one, that
one is special, take care’ I said, being dramatic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sorry, I couldn’t give you anything special’ he
said and made a face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Well, I will keep this special’ I pressed the
locket to my chest and smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am glad you liked it’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I loved it and I am going to put some music on and
close my eyes for a while, I really don’t like the sound of landing’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ok’ he said and I put on the music and closed my
eyes and relaxed back. I had an instinct that he was watching my face while I
sat back, I had an urge to look, but I fought it back and tried my best to be
lost into the music and as adding insult to injury, a super romantic song
played through my ears and I went all mad inside. I fell in love with that guy,
I didn’t know the exact moment, when I first saw him? When we listened to my
favourite song? When he talked about himself? Or when we had a nice dinner?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We reached the gate where we should part, he kept
his bag a side and dragged me into a corner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It was nice meeting you and you are sweet’ he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Should I answer that?’ I teased him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That was not a question’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hmm..you are hot’ I said back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I should have liked something like cute or
adorable’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are cute as a puppy’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sounds better’ he exhaled ‘I better get going; my
flight is in half hour’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I should be going too, passport control will be so
crowded’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And then he hugged me and dragged me close to him,
our faces were inches apart that I thought I was going to have my first real
kiss in front of a strange and busily moving crowd. He slightly brushed his
lips on mine and went for my cheek and held me for a moment in a hug. I backed
a little and kissed his cheeks and then before letting me go completely he
kissed my forehead. I smiled the saddest smile ever and backed away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Bye, love you’ he gritted through his teeth, more
like he was holding back grief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Love you too’ I whispered and then his figure
slowly faded away into distance. I stood there for a long moment and started
walking on autopilot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have lived 15 years by then and I have never felt
that complete than in that 3 hours. And those 3 hours seemed the only time I
lived and I lost it then and there. I had a lot of time before and after, buy
why was that small time everything to me and why did I fell in love with a
stranger? What magic was that? What happened? Was that attraction, lust or
anything? Or was that love? And if it wasn’t love, how did those 3 hours felt
like my whole life to me and why did he have to go away in such a short notice?
Wasn’t togetherness a necessary thing?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I loved that it happened and hated the way it ended,
we were not supposed to be just that. I once more stared at the locket and went
right into the arms of my waiting brother. While his mind danced with joy that
at last his sister came to him, my heart was burning with grief. I was not sure
of what would happen to my life then, would I be able to find love again? Would
I ever meet that special person again? Was Aflaan going to be just a chapter of
my life? A beautiful, yet sad memory?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Anna, you need to get up from there’ came my cousin
sister’s voice. I was on my best friend’s bed and I was curled in it by hugging
his favourite pillow. The whole room smelled of him, I couldn’t believe what
was going on. Life could be so cruel at times and that was such a time. My
cheeks were pink and damp from the uncontrollable tears I shed and my own lips
tasted salty from my tears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Years went by after I met Aflaan, I was no more a
teenager, I was way too grown up from being a fantasising teenager, I learned
to live, learned to differentiate fantasies from reality. Learned how it felt
like to lose people, how it felt to be loved and to love. I was 25. A lot
happened in my life, important and non-important events. I graduated b-school
and had a very convincing job and great reputation in my career. I almost got
married to my family friend and that was a mess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Indian parents have an urge to marry away their
daughters when they go beyond 21 and that was what exactly happened with me. I
had 3 boyfriends so far and had 3 break up’s as well. Relations simply didn’t
work for me and then my parents came up with the marriage idea and there was no
reason to say no, I had no one to wait for, I had nothing much to do in life,
so a marriage was fine with me. I was not really fond of the groom, he was way
too different from me, but I guessed that is how marriages always worked out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was when he dumped me that I found out that he
was not too fond of the bride either. He went for his ex-girlfriend and got
married to her without even breaking the engagement with me. First I felt like
shit, being abandoned, then I realised I was happy that it went that way, I was
forcing myself even to like him, so what was the big deal. And because of that
horrible thing my parents decided not to push me further and stopped making
matches for me and let me be. I was getting good on my own but that was when my
best friend’s life went upside down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He was about to get married to his long term
girlfriend when he was diagnosed with blood cancer. He was about to call off
the wedding himself after he knew that he wouldn’t make it up to the aisle and
wait for her, he had no time, but before he could do anything she dumped him
and said that she couldn’t be with him. I always thought he was weak, but he
was so strong, he didn’t even shed a single tear, he let her go with a brief
goodbye. I wanted to kill her at that
moment itself, first of all, he was the sweetest person I have ever met in my
life and second of all, he had committed his entire life for that single girl
and had treated her well all the time and I hated to see him hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The relation I had with him was way too special and
immortal. We grew up together and went to school together. From kinder garden
to our post graduate, we were practically on the same bench. He got job in
another firm though the same city. I never had to miss him once in my life
because we were never apart. He was there for me all the time I needed him and
in my life, I never knew how it would feel to miss him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We always had the same friend circle, same interest
and same social life, so practically we did every damn thing in our life
together; we even went on double dates. While he made music, I wrote the lines,
while he danced, I sang for him, while he played a match, I cheered for him,
when he dumped classes, I deliberately became his guardian, when he come home
late, I became his protector. No one had to ask me, ‘who is your best friend?’
because the answer was too obvious all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He was always too protective of me like a brother
and loved me like his own soul and from him only I knew how it felt to be loved
deeply. He always bought a smile on my face and always cheered me up after my
break up’s. He never really talked about my boyfriends, he was too possessive
and basically hated everybody and told me that they were not the right ones,
but he never blamed me when my relations go worse but instead he crack pathetic
jokes about my ex’s and make me laugh. He always put me first, even before his
own things and needs and that made me feel special.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">His girlfriends were all too jealous of me and never
really liked our relation, they didn’t like him putting me first and giving me
all the care in the world. But they were all happy when we showed them our <i>rakhi. </i>We exchanged them on a <i>rakhi bandhan, </i>it was not one of our
religious rituals, but we found it interesting and always did it, we expressed
our love in whatever way possible. I and he always had two bands on our hands,
one <i>rakhi </i>and one friendship band; we
never really take it off. My mom always complained that those bands didn’t go
well with my party gowns, but I didn’t care, I told her that, I am never going
to take it off, not even on my wedding no matter whether it go with my white gown
or not. I loved it when he called me sis sweetly, even my own brother doesn’t
call me that sweetly, but I love my brother too, but that was another story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He was hospitalized immediately and I always cried near
his bed and he was the one who consoled me, he stayed strong all the time. He
told me that everything was going to be alright but never told me how it was
going to be ok. I barely went home and always stayed with him. We both knew
well that no miracle could save him; he knew he had less time and he being the
best used that time to make me feel better. He was always worried about me, how
the hell I would feel, I was guilty that he always thought about me but not
about himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He was a good actor, but not in front of me, one day
he broke down in front of me and told me how much it hurt, feeling being
abandoned, he told me that he had gone for the wrong girl his all life and that
he was glad that he had me. He expected her to be the one by his side, when he
closed his eyes forever, but he told me that he was glad that it ended up that
way and that I became the last one left for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Will it make you feel better if I married you?’ I
asked him that day and he was too weak by then, he was sleeping a lot and was
taking in a huge dose of morphine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yew, I am not marrying my sister’ he said all
childishly despite of his condition. He proved to me that, that kind of
relations were also possible in the world. I always doubted he had something
romantic for me and I ended up a complete idiot, he meant every word and loved
me unconditionally and love not necessarily is romantic all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I leaned in and kissed his forehead, though I knew
my tears made him weaker, I poured my tears on him, he kissed me back on the
cheek weakly and gave me the sweetest smile ever, he was too fragile and pale
but yet he was so beautiful, I had no idea why his girlfriend left him. Yeah, I
knew, because she didn’t want to be married to a dying man. He insisted on
keeping our bands while doctors forced them out and after the battle, he did
keep those and showed me them proudly. We got a pair every year and he told me
to keep them safe and I always did, he never had to ask.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You should get to Aflaan’ he said out of nowhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What?’ I asked, stunned as a rock.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I was just saying, you know, no one really suited
you, I never met that guy, but from what you blabber about him, I like him the
most in your boyfriends’ I barely bought Aflaan to our conversation, I was sure
not for a couple of years anyway, he always teased me and enjoyed them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">People say that time heals every people, but time
didn’t make me forget him, I always kept that locket safe and always remembered
those 3 hours when I saw that and when I read my favourite book and pocket
diary. During my high school I completely forgot him but then my crush came
along and he resembled Aflaan and bought the memories back, I even doubted that
it was him, but there was no slightest possibility by which Aflaan could end up
in our school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I was 15 for god’s sake’ I told him as I absently
wiped my tears away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Appropriate age to fall in love’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I didn’t’ I told him again, more strongly though
his voice stood in the same frequency.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then why were you searching for him in every other
face?’ I had no answer for that and we both were not in the condition to fight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It is not even possible, think practically, it was
just 3 hours’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am not thinking practically anymore, it is too
late to think that way, girl’ he unwillingly made me into tears and we stopped
talking then and I faced against him and fought my tears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Maybe he was true about me searching Aflaan on every
face I came across, it made no sense anyway, I moved on, but that memory stayed
fresh. When I thought about it I felt stupid, but it was true, what I wanted
was Aflaan, a complete stranger I met on plane and I have only spend 3 hours
with him, it was weird, after all the whole world was weird.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried once to find him and failed to find him, and
I felt strange, so I gave up. What if it was only for me, what if the feeling
was not mutual? Maybe he got a girlfriend and all and would be living a very
convincing life and I clearly didn’t want friendship from him, so there was no
real point in doing so. So instead I started searching for someone else. I
strongly believe that I would find love in someone else, but that was a mess, I
even reached marriage and I failed, there was something missing all the time
and I never knew what. And there was this weirdest thing, after every break up,
I would go and stare at my locket and then he would come to my mind and then
suddenly I would be happy that my relation with the other guy didn’t work out
well. And the only person who knew about Aflaan was dying in front of my eyes,
others may think I was mad, only my best friend understood my feelings and
weird points. He too believe that I was mad, but we both love that madness for
no certain reason. I thought losing him
somehow would make Aflaan seem less real to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You know, you are always weird and maybe you were
supposed to fall in love in that weird way, so don’t feel bad, you are best as
this weird’ he told me again which told me he was not goanna give up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Stop it, ok?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hey listen to me, I know that you would feel lonely
once I am gone and I don’t want you to forget him just because you don’t have
me to talk about him’ he was making me burn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Stop this stuff, it’s bothering me, don’t you see?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Maybe you should be more practical’ he said ‘Come
here’ and I went to him and sat next to him, he was in almost a sitting
position by adjusting his bed and he put his arms around my waist and slowly
and weekly held me close.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Don’t be afraid, ok?’ he breathed ‘we both know
what is happening here, I wanted to tell this to you always and I feel like I
have no more time’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Don’t’ I tried to stop him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Don’t live alone, if I was wrong about Aflaan,
though there is no chance from how well I know you, find someone who can love
you and you can love, ok?’ he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You sound like Jack in Titanic, make grandchildren’
I chuckled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Rose was his best friend, huh?’ he teased me back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I hate you’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘But I love you, can’t help it, girl, you are so
sweet like someone had said’ he said mentioning again to Aflaan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Please don’t act too strong with me, ok?’ I told
him sadly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yea’ and then he hugged me close and I felt his
tears on my back as he wept, I knew he was too afraid to go, he never showed
it, and I was scared too, I didn’t want to think about a world without him. He
was too special to let go and when he started crying I thought it was better
for him to act strong, at least it would make me feel that he was not scared to
go after all, but I knew my best friend well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘When I go unconscious again and when they attach me
to those machines again, don’t stay, ok?’ he rose from me and his cheeks were
all damp ‘I don’t want you to see me that way, just go back to our place and
stay there and don’t ask my updates, I want you to hold on to our memories and
don’t come see me until you can hold some Aflaan’s hand and smile that sweet
smile, that is how I want to see you’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I love you’ I whispered and suddenly those words
had all the power and meaning in the world. I thought he was strong, but he was
too fragile, mentally and physically and he knew he had to go soon. Those were
the last words I told him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I came back after getting him and me our
favourite coffee, he was shifted from his room, a nurse told me that he went
unconscious and that he was taken away. I dropped the coffee, though I had a
urge to walk toward the ICU, I took his bands which lied on the side table and
walked slowly to my car, I stepped on to my car and went home and took just my
handbag with credit cards and passport and went straight to airport and caught
the next available flight to Dubai, I went to our place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And I ended up in his room hugging his pillow and
crying into it and I didn’t bother to ask about him, I knew he was gone, I
didn’t ask, when or where was he buried, nothing, I just spend my day in his
room, in his clothes and tried my best not to let go of him. It was our place,
where we loved spending time, that apartment, that was our families’ old
apartment and later we took and remodelled it and it became a place of our own,
he lived around there and I felt his presence there. We sang all those songs there;
we had most of our beautiful memories in that city, especially around that
apartment. We never allowed our other friends or our partners in there, they
have seen the place, but never had fun there and they didn’t know how to have
fun there, it was our own place and I only had his smiling memories there. He
was not dizzied off from morphine nor was he burning in agony. He was smiling,
laughing and we were singing together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Life is so strange at times; it gets so strange that
we ourselves can’t figure what is going on with our own life. I was living more
like a dead person, partly dead anyway. Everything in my life went upside down
in a very short time, it was too much for me to take in, I left my real life
and started living a virtual one and that was a living hell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">People say that time heals every pain and it did,
but like I said, I didn’t become oblivious about what happened in my life. My
best friend was still alive for me, like I always used to tell him, he would
always be alive for me. Time made me forget his painful face and bought those
smiling face instead. I learned to hold on to happy memories, I tried my best
to forget those last days and I almost did and I started to smile again, but
there was still no Aflaan to hold my hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Almost a year went by after he was gone and I never
keep account of dates, so I don’t exactly know which day it was, someone long
gone appeared again in my life. It sounds crazy but I met Aflaan again, not
some Aflaan, but mine, the one I met on plane and he was standing in front of
me all alive, it was so much real, not some crazy fantasy which I used to have
after my best friend left me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I never left Dubai, I was waiting to go back after I
fulfilled my best friend’s last wish which was of course getting myself a life,
when he said get some Aflaan, not in my wildest dreams I thought I would find
the real one, suddenly I wished for my best friend to be there, so that I could
talk with him about all that later. I was sitting on a park bench after my
evening walk, I was in my track suit and t-shirt and I was all sweating and was
listening to music by watching the busy cars passing in front of the park. And
that is when he appeared. He came and sat near me, like he have known me for a
life time, there was no excitement of meeting someone after a long time, it was
like he have known that I would be there at the park and like he was coming
only to meet me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I slowly got rid of my hear phone, not believing what
I was seeing. He had no changes on his face, he just stared at me absently
without even greeting me. He changed a lot, instead of that irresponsible
teenager, he was a man then. He wore a casual jean and formal shirt with no
tie, he appeared way too mature and his face changed a lot, but appeared the
same to me. He still had that glossy cheeks and adorable dimple. I recognised
him very swiftly, maybe because he was this another face which kept on running
in my mind and thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He reached my hand which was gripping on the bench
and it made him seem more real to me, he kept on staring me and I stared back
without even uttering a single word, I didn’t know what changed in his life, I
have never known him, then why was I worried about what changed? I was no
teenager though, my life changed a great deal and like I said, I could no more
deal with fantasies while I was struggling to deal with the realities, I simply
had no time or strength to fantasise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hi’ he greeted me after all that awkward silence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Aflaan?’ I choked out. And as an answer to that he
simply smiled, I wanted to smile back, but my life didn’t let me do that,
things kept on screaming in my head. He was a stranger, he is a stranger, what
was I thinking, he probably came when he saw me from a distance and maybe he
want to know how I was, maybe the thing was that simple and then why on earth
was I making many assumptions in my mind? He was nothing but an illusion, a
real and living illusion, which I can touch but the one I can’t have, the one I
shouldn’t think of having.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘How are you?’ he asked, still like he have known me
for a long time, he was not even making sure who I was, maybe like me he didn’t
need to do that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I don’t know’ I said and I didn’t know from where
that came. He laughed hard at my awkwardness and I just kept on staring, I
couldn’t figure out what was going on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Are you done here?’ he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, I guess so’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Where are you headed to?’ he asked ‘can I drop
you?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No’ I said as a reflex action ‘I have a car’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then can I follow you?’ he chuckled, maybe he was
teasing me, but it was hard for me to take it all in. All the more he stared at
me I realised that he was a complete stranger, not the one I was dreaming
about, not the one I secretly fantasised about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t know why on earth I let him follow me to my
apartment. I had a quick shower and made coffee for him, I was too bad at that,
my best friend used to make coffee all the time, as I was bad at it. When I
came with the coffee he was nowhere in the living room and then suddenly I
noticed him staring at my best friend’s door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What is this?’ he asked me pointing to the
glittering letters on the door and it read ‘Psycho’ in blue bold letters. I
pointed at my door which was opposite that and it red ‘Maddie’ in hot pink
letters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Psycho?’ he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I called my best friend Psycho and as a revenge to
that he started calling me maddie, but beyond his expectation of it bothering
me, I found that name cute and sweet and then we got used to that and got that
written on our doors, he was real mad’ I smiled for the first time that day,
maybe because my psycho came back laughing at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am sorry for your loss’ he said and I didn’t know
how he knew about it as I didn’t mention anything about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You said I called him, so I figured he.....’ he
didn’t say the rest, but still the answer was not fair, just because I used
past tense it didn’t mean he was dead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It’s ok’ I said and gave him the coffee, he walked
down to the couch as he sipped on the coffee. We sat across from each other and
then there was again this awkwardness created by silence, so I started another
conversation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘How come you are in Dubai?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Not another connection flight’ he said and smiled
which bought back the only memories I had about him ‘I have been working here
for the past 6 months’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh and what do you do now?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Architect’ he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh that is great, so you chose your father’s path’
I commented, that was all I knew about his dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hey why don’t we have a real dinner tonight?’ he
asked out of nowhere. I couldn’t remember the last time I had dinner out with
someone other than my family and friends. And anyway I had nothing on my
schedule, I never have anything on my schedule after his death.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I don’t know’ I said that again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You say that a lot now?’ he asked me and it
followed a slightest laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I don’t know’ this time I said knowingly and I did
chuckle, that was surprising to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘So?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ok, I think I will go’ I said and then we had a
long conversation and I became all normal again, I talked with him like I have
known him all the time, there was no more awkwardness. I told him about
everything that ever happened to me, and like earlier he was a great listener,
I broke at some parts and he consoled me in a very convincing and natural way,
everything went too easy with him, I didn’t had to pretend or hide anything, it
was like once more I was talking to my best friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We had another perfect dinner and he told me about
him, he said everything about his life, his relations, his career, family and
everything and he had less tragedy than me, he had nothing really, his life was
normal and like he said, one thing was abnormal, me, meeting me was his strange
problem, I couldn’t believe that he thought about me all the time and
remembered me and maybe like it was for me, I stopped him from getting a
serious relation in his life. After all I knew what we had was mutual, it was
just distance which was wrong and time proved our relation true.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguiB-2sIUCNTf7RLqOS7zbWBza47BIah_TSnKD8dC9hRZeYq1hpqimjyR3Uht6nMT2Eho9_k0DYG4fneOLOPGpuKld-evSkMVmt8Z8Bm8MnT2WLBiYGUMt9i8ytoEcZySIrBz3QasxnlHY/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguiB-2sIUCNTf7RLqOS7zbWBza47BIah_TSnKD8dC9hRZeYq1hpqimjyR3Uht6nMT2Eho9_k0DYG4fneOLOPGpuKld-evSkMVmt8Z8Bm8MnT2WLBiYGUMt9i8ytoEcZySIrBz3QasxnlHY/s1600/images.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t know when or what was the instinct or who
initiated it, but he was kissing me and I suddenly felt like 15 again, like I
had no care in the whole world, like nothing mattered but that single moment,
it was like we were continuing an incomplete chapter, I suddenly forgot what I
was, I was a teenager again with nothing to care about but her fantasies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We gave our relation time and dealt it like adults
instead of being dizzied with the idea of romance. We did fight a lot and
unlike in my other relations, I felt no urge to give up, we solved our problems
too and there was no single moment when I thought of a break up. Every fights
ended in a hope that we would be ok after a while, every days ended with a long
await for tomorrow and everyday started with love, hope and joy, my life was
getting on tracks again, but still I thought it was not yet the time for me to
go back to India, so we stayed in my favourite city of all time and enjoyed
each moments of our life together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One night when we were watching stars from the
terrace, he proposed me, there was nothing dramatic, it was not like how I
thought it would be, but I loved the way it sounded, it was all real, it felt
more real than anything and then I didn’t think, I said yes because, I fell in
love with the first time with the same guy and despite how much different we
were and how much we fought, I felt real, natural and myself with him and I
never felt the need to stay away from him, I never had to think again about
that, I was so sure. For the first time in my life, I was sure about a thing
without even talking to my psycho. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Am I ever goanna get a band like this?’ he asked me
once when I was cleaning up my best friend’s room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You can get a wedding band, not this, no offense’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I sometimes wish I was him’ he said and I didn’t
know what to say, what he was saying was an impossible thing, my best friend
was something entirely different, I could never find someone like him again and
I don’t know whether anyone could become ‘the best’ again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am sorry’ I murmured.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I know you can’t replace him and it is ok’ he said
and kissed my forehead, I was glad that he was not jealous or maybe there was
no need to be jealous about a dead man. And I was glad that he understood me
better than anybody alive, he was ready to compromise and once again I was
proud that I had all the sacred and special relations in this known universe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You never asked me how I found you again’ he
whispered against my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
***********<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Coming back after 2 years felt good, I was back in
India after 2 long years and my family was dying to see me and their future
son-in-law. Our wedding was supposed to take place in a church in India, very
simple and elegant maybe, with only immediate family and close friends. Instead
of going straight home we went to see my best friend the first thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was in a graveyard for the first time in my life
and I was not scared because I was there to see my best friend and I knew he
was smiling then. He rested under a huge tree and he was in a way alone, a
little away from others, and I felt him near me, holding my hands and laughing
and teasing me about Aflaan and at last telling me how happy he is that I found
Aflaan and that he really like Aflaan and telling me that Aflaan was always
been the right guy for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I closed my eyes and I left Aflaan’s hand, this
sounds a bit crazy, but he was there running in my mind, breathlessly laughing
instead of giving me his cute smile, he was such a bully at times, I laughed
out loud and Aflaan must have wondered what was going on, he must have felt
that I was really maddie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Here I am, smiling and holding hand of not some
Aflaan but the real one’ I said out loud happily, if anyone were there, they
must have wondered why I was this happy in a graveyard. I was happy because he
was happy for me and that is how friendship worked out, we are happy when our
best friend is happy and sad when he is sad and mad when he is mad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I love you, psycho’ I said smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘And I love you’ Aflaan said and hugged me from
behind without any notice and kissed my cheeks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hey what is that written on his grave?’ I asked
suddenly noticing something .<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What exactly is written on his door’ Aflaan
answered ‘he asked to do that before he died, he wanted you to know that he
loved that after all’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He is crazy’ I commented.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘And you are mad’ Aflaan was rhyming whatever I
said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I stared at my bands and smiled to myself and gave a
sweet smile just for my best friend, I hope he loved that too. I kept his
favourite flowers on him and stood there for a long time, I didn’t cry, I
didn’t know why I didn’t feel that he was gone, I felt like he was hiding
somewhere and watching all the fun and that he would come out soon, maybe this
was the reason why he didn’t want me to stay, he wanted me to hope that he
would come back once and as mad as I was, he did the right thing, because I
believed what he wanted me to believe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You know when I found you...’ Aflaan started,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘How exactly you found me?’ I asked him, demanding
an answer this time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You liked and put a command on every damn post on
that page’ he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Which page?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Your favourite book’ he smiled at me
embarrassingly. ‘I was going through that page hoping to find you and I did and
I mailed you and your cousin got that because you were with him because he was
sick and she was maintaining your mails’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I remember that, I have not opened my mailbox for 2
years now’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘And then your cousin asked about me to your best
friend and then he contacted me and told me that it was a bad time and that you
were not yourself then and that you would turn me down despite how much you
want me’ he said and that brought tears to my eyes, he was such a what, I don’t
know, he did every damn thing for me and all I ever did was nothing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He told me about your things and told me that it
was strange, but you loved me and that you were weird and asked me to come to
you once the time seems right and take care of you and I was here for his
funeral because he was sure that you wouldn’t be there’ he finished.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He did that?’ I asked again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He even threatened me that if I ever hurt you his
ghost would kill me’ he laughed, but I was not in the mood, I stared at his
grave and stood there absently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I did nothing for him’ I said to myself, a little
louder maybe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You did everything for him by just being yourself’
Aflaan consoled ‘I love you’ he kissed me and a tear slowly rolled down my
cheeks and touched my lips and he wiped them and kissed me again, I was happy a
moment there and then it made me cry, the happiness and his love made me cry, I
was sure he was hiding, he would come back in no time, I hoped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ready for the wedding, miss?’ Asked Aflaan
sarcastically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I will miss my best man’ I sighed ‘he promised me
that he would walk me down the aisle’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He is not in the mood to walk you down, so he will
just watch’ Aflaan hugged me and we together watched my best friend smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My dad walked me down the aisle toward Aflaan and he
was waiting for me at the end and I was not scared or nervous to walk it down
because I wanted to get to him as fast as possible, I belonged there, right
next to him, in his different yet beautiful world, all I wanted was to hide
myself in his chest and be there forever. And then my dad put my hand in his
hand and I saw my best friend, psycho, smiling at me from the abandoned and far
corner of the church were we used to sit on Sundays. I took the vows and became
Aflaan’s forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
***********<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just narrated two different and special chapters
of my life. One about a person I knew from three hours and the other one I have
known for a life time with whom I spend almost every moments of my life. It was
strange that I had something romantic for the person I knew less, but at times
it doesn’t appear strange when we think that friendship and brotherhood is
something beyond romance and maybe that was right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Maybe the reason my relations didn’t work out was
not Aflaan but my best friend, maybe I was too scared that I would have to
compromise my friendship for a romantic relation, sometimes I think that it was
the exact reason, because earlier I had someone to go to when I was worried or
broke and I loved that person unconditionally and love may not be romantic all
the times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was like I had to lose my best friend to have
Aflaan by my side and it was all about time, when I met Aflaan earlier, I knew
we had to be together, but nothing went our way and then after years when I
needed somebody to love me, he came back and he was exactly what I needed.
Maybe relations have something to do with time also.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We realise a lot in our life and we regret and I
didn’t regret any decisions or any moments of my life, it was all in the plan,
not mine, but the universe’s and for some reason it was better than my own
plans. Maybe after all it is true that everything happens for good, even though
everything won’t sound good to us, it is good in a strange way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Everybody’s life is strange and no matter how
difficult it is to figure it out, everything makes sense at the end, we
suddenly understand what we were and what our life meant, our life’s mission
was not what we thought, it was something better, our life didn’t end up like
we thought, but we realise at some point that some dreams and fantasies are at
their best when they stay so, they really suck in reality. And it is strange
that every chapter in our life are connected in one or the other way, like my
best friend and Aflaan were connected. For me my best friend was my past and
Aflaan was my future, I cherished my memories and lived a life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now when I sit here in a beach in Dubai and watch
Aflaan playing with our daughter in the sea I realise that this world happened
to be strange and maybe I am the strangest alive on that because I fell for a
stranger and waited a fortune unknowingly for him to come back. And when I
stare to a distance, to the never ending ocean and when I myself get lost in
it, I realise that even nature is lying to us, we lost people somewhere deep in
there and nothing seems never ending but the ocean and maybe life can be
compared to that sea, but nobody make it to the other end, people sink before
they are lifted by a loving hand. And those people who smile when they sink not
because they are too fond of the afterlife, but just because that they are sure
that their loved ones are still safe and happy out there, they are those
persons we compare to angels, those persons who deserve endless and immortal
love and my best friend was one of them. He lived his life for others,
especially for me. I was the luckiest for I had the best persons and relations
in my life, though I didn’t deserve every bit of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I love you, psycho, I love you bro’ I whispered
against the wind and a wind blew up my hair and I would know that everything
was real until this wind stop touching my face. Suddenly I felt an arm slipping
around my waist and dragging me close and then he kissed me into this strange
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-88021905685094766452013-02-17T08:52:00.002-08:002013-02-17T08:52:51.802-08:00A life, worth living for!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was something much more than just charm, beauty
or something in that territory which pulled me close to her. She was not
beautiful, not ugly, was not outstanding or extra ordinary, she was just a girl
who we meet in our everyday life. There was nothing special in her when she
passed me every other day in the corridor by giving me a strange look. She was
not special until I started to see more of her than that mere look or
embarrassing smile. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was so much into my studies during my high school;
I had to score good grades to get into the college of my dreams, where all my
brothers got their education. Getting into that college was the matter of my
fame and fortune and a simple matter of my dreams. And because of all that, I
had to concentrate hard on my studies and I barely got time to enjoy other
things in my school life. When teachers thought of me as a smart student,
students though I was a freak and a jerk who only knew to study and score good
marks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was not much of a friendly person and I had
relatively less friends at school, my best friends were my brothers and school
was purely a study material for me. The only friend I had at school was Priya,
who was another lonely one in our school, she was not too much into studies;
she was just lonely and happened to be my classmate. We went along well, so
there was no choice other than her for me. She went all cheered up after being
with me, but what I cannot figure out was why I was still a freak?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This all doesn’t mean, I had no friends at all, I
did have friends, but the thing was I never stayed long with anybody. I went well
with everybody and hanged out with everybody, I was on good terms with all and
that was always an advantage to my life there. Teachers adored me and that was
obvious as I had always managed to score the highest marks and teachers think I
am the only one student who got a motive to study. And honestly girls gave me a
hard time, was I that gorgeous for them to stare at me all day?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was such a person who liked to keep my things to
myself and not to explain my life or understand my doings to others. If my
things really matter to them, let them figure it out, they don’t owe an
explanation from me unless asked, that was my attitude. And nobody did ask me
about my things, as I said earlier, people thought I was a jerk and so they
were not interested in asking me but to make their own gossips. It was true
that I was about to slap a girl for which she gave me a hard time, but I have
not done it. But the rumours were I cheated her in love and slapped her at
last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">First of all, love was not my thing and second of
all I had no girl and I had not slapped that girl, I was about to and she has
never ever appeared in my life again. This was how high school runs, on gossips
and fake love stories. I was in a relationship, about 2 years before, but I am
all done with it and I moved on. We were not meant to be together and the
relation was just a relationship, I couldn’t find love or anything like that,
so I had no choice but to leave that idea alone and move on with my studies and
my scheduled life. And I have not cheated her, I was always ready to give it
another chance, but she got engaged to somebody, this was what happened in
India. She was still there at school, I stare at her occasionally and I was
glad that I left her; she was not even a choice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I study in no international, western style school,
so there were no prom dances or Valentine’s Day program. It was just an
ordinary school which runs on studies and some boring youth festivals and yeah
some cultural programs, with no cultures included. I had a normal school life
which most of the ordinary Indians had, it was beautiful indeed. My school was normal until she and her best
friend appeared in my life. I have never seen a girl like that in my life before;
she was strange and funny perhaps. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have noticed her before when she gave me that
killing look, I have caught her staring at me and I doubt that she drop her
mouth open at my sight. Like I said she was strange and I never tried to figure
her strangeness out and she was not a big deal back then. She was one of that
many girls stared at me weirdly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That was a pleasant day and I was walking through
the corridor towards staff room. That was when out of nowhere she appeared with
her friend. She stood in front of me for a bare moment and was blocking my way.
I was about to excuse myself when I saw her friend pushing her and asking
something for her to do. And the whole scenario told me that I was involved in
their drama. I had no interest in their drama, but something about that girl
held me there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hi’ she said and waved her hand towards me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Excuse me? Do I know you?’ I asked back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No, but...’ she stammered ‘can you please give me a
moment, can we talk alone for a minute?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘For what?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> ‘Please’ her
face went all funny and pleading and there was no way by which I could refuse
her request.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Okay’ by that we went a little far from his friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Who are you?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am....mm....Pooja’ she replied ‘and that is my
friend Irfan’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are not Pooja, You can’t be, I can see that you
are a Muslim’ I said as it was clear that from her dressing, she had a scarf on
vaguely hiding her silky hair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Does name matter? These days we put any names
right?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘But not Pooja, you are not......’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya’ she cut me mid sentence ‘happy now?’ she was
talking to me like she has known me for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ok’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Now concentrate on what I am saying, ok?’ she said
and she was staring right into my eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Do I have another choice?’ I asked and talking with
her seemed easy, even easy than talking to any other girls, even priya.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sorry no’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then, shoot’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I want you to tell my friend Irfan that I told you
that I have a crush on you’ she said in one breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Come again?’ I said as I couldn’t understand the
whole thing ‘you have a crush on your friend and you want me to tell that to
him, why?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘God damn, I told you to concentrate, listen, I and
Irfan were playing truth or dare, you do know what that is don’t you?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I have heard, never played’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That question is not usually asked in the exam, so
don’t bother’ she was clearly making fun of me and there was no emotions
playing on her face other than innocence and restlessness, she was a great
actor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘And he dared me to tell you that I have a crush on
you and if I am not doing it, I have to give him a whole packet of chocolate, I
don’t like being failed, so, please...’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Crush on me?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It’s a play, man, no big deal, just say that, ok?’
without allowing me to answer she called Irfan near us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Now ask him’ she said proudly to Irfan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘She told me that she had a crush on me and Pooja,
you wasted my entire break time, I had to see my language teacher’ with that I
left and I heard them say,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Jerk’ she was saying and I saw her face, usually I
get angry at things like that, but that girl bought a smile on my face against
the usual.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Pooja? Who is Pooja?’ I heard Irfan asking her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next day I noticed her again in the corridor,
she was not supposed to be in that corridor as it had no connection with her
class room, she had no need to be there unless she was taking a long way to the
ground. Though she was talking to Irfan while walking I knew she had her eyes
on me which told me clearly about the intention of her to talk to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hey Ahmed’ she greeted me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What now?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Here, for you’ she held out a chocolate to me, it
was expensive but not my favourite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why?’ I asked, I honestly had a lot of questions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I surely am not going to eat a whole box of
chocolates’ she said ‘you helped me beat him, anyway’ she winked at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘She has not given me, accept it man, she don’t
always share her chocolate with others’ interrupted Irfan. I saw her elbow him
for the comment he made and I accepted her chocolate, after all it was a
chocolate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am not giving you now, I was thinking of’ she
said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Who needs your chocolate?’ Irfan teased her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was about to leave when Irfan said:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘She does have a crush on you Ahmed’ it made me
stare back and I saw her face blush, I gave her a big smile which I very rarely
did. And I saw her giving her friend a real hard slap on his hand; he surely
was going to have a hard time after that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After that I haven’t met her much and that made me
sick, I wanted to meet her every other morning. My not too blasting days were
getting even worse. She bought something with her, some kind of magic which
made me smile. I have not discussed her with anyone, not with my brothers,
priya, not even my supportive mom, because I myself was not sure about her
being in my life. I didn’t know where she belonged, what she was or even
whether she had a place in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I decided to see her again; I was not good at that
stuff. So I simply passed her corridor, at first I couldn’t see her, but heard
her voice from a huge crowd, I saw no girls, she was surrounded with a lot of
boys, and she was talking from middle. I noticed Irfan at the door and went
near him intentionally to talk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What is going on?’ I asked him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What?’ he was confused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘There with.....’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Pooja?’ he was clearly making fun of me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya’ I corrected him as I wanted him to know that
I did know her name.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Nothing much, she is giving them a lecture’ he said
and was about to ignore me when I asked again,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Which subject?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Chemistry’ he said ‘man, what is wrong with you,
she is just talking crap there like usual, no big deal’ at first when he said
chemistry I was goanna believe him really.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘One of our friends needs help, he want to propose
to a senior girl, they are making plans’ he explained, at that point I realised
how enjoyable school life can get, it was lot more than what I had for myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Any luck there?’ I asked casually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No, she is a rough one to impress, your batch, she
is, real beautiful girl, i think’ he said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Priya?’ I asked as priya was always an attraction
point to boys, but never to juniors though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya <i>bhai, </i>your
crush here wants to know the name of that senior girl, some priya?’ Irfan asked
to Zoya by raising his voice into a maximum as he had to out travel a huge
voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘<i>Bhai?’</i> I
said to myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘<i>Teri baabi
thodi tho hein yaar’ </i>commented Irfan on my shortest and irrelevant
question.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hi, Ahmed’ one of the boys Zoya was talking to came
and hugged me like he have known me for a long time, I didn’t even knew his
name. He wanted me to talk with priya, so my guess was not wrong, they were
discussing about my best friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Varun, I have a great idea, buy him some chocolates
and he will do anything’ said Zoya as she approached me and laughed at her own
pathetic joke. By that she went with Irfan, why was she always with Irfan. I
have never spotted her without Irfan at school. I actually came there to talk
to her and she went by leaving me in the middle of some crazy guys.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
**************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After that I had to make up a reason to meet her again
and it was real hard to bring up something. And out of the plans, she appeared
in front of me again, in canteen this time. She was not having lunch but was
talking with her usual group, Irfan right near her of course. I was alone there
to get a change for priya and I decided to talk to Zoya, which seemed the right
time to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya’ I called from near her table which clearly
interrupted her lecture of chemistry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hi’ she was kind of shocked to see me, but she did
greet me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Can I have a moment, please?’ I asked her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Me?’ why was she that surprised that she dropped
her mouth open and had a ridiculous expression on her face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah’ I said and she rose slowly and I noticed the
stupid smile on Irfan’s face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You want us to wait, Zoya?’ asked Irfan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Wait by the corridor, will you? That boy from high
school gives me a hard time’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> ‘Still?’ he
asked ‘don’t worry, never again, I will take care of that, you take care of
your crush, man, I got this one’ Irfan winked at her. Their friendship was something
for me to watch, they were so caring, loving and understanding about each other
and still they were silly, ridiculous and always stupid. I was always jealous
of Zoya that she got such an adorable relationship, friendship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Thanks man’ with that we went out of the canteen
towards the great tree of our grounds, it was a great place. First of all, that
was the only place in that bare ground where the sun couldn’t reach directly,
and then it was a usual spot for silly talking. Whatever crap we talk in that
school, that tree should have witnessed it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And I have heard that, it witnessed a great
proposal, one of our teacher proposed to a student for marriage and that she
agreed, that was weird, but the fact that the teacher was fresh out of college,
makes it less weird. He was still there at school, my maths professor, he had
grown old, but people said that his wife was still dropdown gorgeous. I have
heard students tease him for that, but he was a let go and easy person to go
with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What you want?’ she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Who is giving you a hard time?’ I asked back
instead of answering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Nobody’ she smiled one of her dirtiest and broad
smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Can I ask you something?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Anything except chocolate’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why are you always with Irfan?’ I asked, and I didn’t
know why I asked it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘We are childhood friends, we know each other since
we are small children, he is my neighbour, some distant cousin too and most of
all, he is my best friend, now is there a question of why I am always with
him?’ she said very swiftly, she always talked fast, it was always hard to
figure out what she was talking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘And the reason behind why you are always around
boys?’ i asked again. It was like I interrogating her really.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘My mom sends you to spy on me?’ She asked and she
had this unexplainable expression on her face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sorry’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I was always with Irfan, and he didn’t like girls
much, he was always with guys and obviously we came as a package deal, every
friend of him is mine, and I hardly got much time to make some girl friends, but
I do have some, you want me to hook you up with someone?’ she was fast again, I
really wanted to tell her to slow down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are a girl too, Irfan doesn’t have a problem
with you’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Excuse me, what is your problem, now you have a
crush on Irfan?’ she asked, restless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What, no, no, no, I was just asking’ I said, she
did talk real crap.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He has no such problems with girls, ok? I just
became like this for no reason, how am I goanna make you understand?’ I did know why she became like that, it was
the reason why people adored her, she was as good as she was, no alterations
recommended.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You don’t have to’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hold on a sec, why are we talking again? I thought
you needed some help from me or something like that’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sorry, yeah, I do need a help from you’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Shoot’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I want you to write me my words’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Words?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, a speech’ with that she started laughing;
actually she was pretending a laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Very funny, I can’t even write my English exam
properly and what is your topic, some global warming or something? I tell you,
man, those things are the least I care about in my life, so I am not goanna
write a speech in the first place because I am no good at this stuff and.....’
she was going on like that and it seemed to me that she was never goanna stop
talking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Love, Love of friends......friendship, that is my
topic’ I cut her mid sentence. I stammered a bit, but the right topic came out
at last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Friendship?’ she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yes’ I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Which club are you in, again?’ she asked, she was
clearly making fun of me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Literature and it is for the friendship day program
we are organising’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Good and you want me to write it who is a member in
no club, why me? I am no good at this stuff’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are good at friendship, you are so close with
Irfan, I just like the idea of you two and you are the best person to talk
about friendship’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Blah blah blah’ she started making that sound.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘There is a writer in everybody, you just try,
please, you can, you just write what comes to your mind, ok?’ I asked and I
really wanted her to write it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What comes to my mind right now is a poem but very
unfortunately it is already written by Shelly and I have to by heart it
properly for next hour, so please’ she said, there was no sign that she was
goanna take my offer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I will give you a box of chocolates’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Hello, Mr. Chocolate, I am no fan of chocolates,
and I can afford a box or two now, when I go very poor, I will consider writing
you words’ she said ‘if you can’t really write one, Google it, that is the best
way and if you need help in googling I will ask Varun to help you, just help
him to get to priya’ with that she was leaving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I did help Varun’ I said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I know’ she smiled and waved me a bye and walked
away towards her best friend, neighbour and some distant cousin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was not expecting her to write the words after
that, not a chance. And my hopes were disagreed when she and Irfan came to see
me at the club meeting. Obviously they both had no club and were wandering that
time. Irfan came and called me out of the meeting and we met Zoya in the
corridor waiting for us to come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Here you go’ she said and held out a relatively
long fair white paper and it was filled with her slightly curved yet beautiful
handwriting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Speech?’ I asked ‘you wrote it yourself?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, Irfan saw me writing, ask him’ I didn’t had
to ask Irfan as I kind of believed her and never believed in Irfan’s small lies
to hide his dearest friend’s face from sins. And the speech she wrote was just
magnificent; I have not expected that much, not even close. I doubted for a
second that she googled it, the language was amazing and something out from the
Zoya known to me and I barely knew her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘This is amazing, how....’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘She writes stories man, when you have time read the
school magazine and look for articles signed by Z’ Irfan interrupted and gave
me the answer for the question which I was about to ask.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What about those English exams....’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It is because she doesn’t like the English teacher’
said Irfan and winked at me and they both walked away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Her speech was no doubt but amazing, everybody
accepted the known fact and appreciated me after presenting the thing in the
program, I did mentioned that the speech was by Zoya who is known as Z. Her
secret was no more a secret. Not everybody knew who Z was. Some teachers and
her classmates knew. Our school was a big world, so there were a lot of
citizens who didn’t know Z. Not everybody read her writings and wondered who Z
was, because you know how much students read their own school magazine. Talking
about me, I have only watched the pictures until Irfan mentioned Z. until then
the magazine was safe in my book shelf, but from then on it became even safer
and special. And I am sure that people read that after the program to see who
the mysterious girl was. And she was definitely not happy with what I did, she
didn’t want to reveal Z and she should have given Irfan a hard time to
mentioning it to me. And after I knew she was mad with me from Irfan, I was
clearly scared to face her angry face, I have not known how it was, and I have
only seen her happy, enthusiastic and silly face. But like I said, I barely
knew her; I had to see a lot more of her. And I owed her the chocolate which I
promised her to give, so that was the right opportunity, I was not dared to go to
her, but looked out for her in the corridor, and I have not noticed her or
Irfan. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I was to leave school with my friend on his
bike, I saw Zoya walking alone, probably towards bus stand to catch her bus
home, but against the usual she was alone, Irfan was not there. I smelled some
fights. I decided to go to her and got off the bike and told my friend to not
wait for me and that I will catch a bus home. It was not too hard to reach her
as she walked even slower than a snail. I barely had to run to reach her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya <i>bhai,’</i>
I tried the dirtiest number to greet her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘huh? Who told you that name?’ she asked facing me
bravely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I heard Irfan call that’ I confessed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘If you have heard Irfan call that, not anybody
else, you should understand that it is for Irfan to call, not you’ she was
talking fast again, was she practicing to do a drama on vampires?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sorry, what should I call you, then?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Call me Z, anyway that is quite famous now’ usually
that was supposed to follow with a big smile, but the absence of smile told me
how mad she was at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am not sorry about that’ I said firmly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘And I don’t expect you to be’ she snapped to my
face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You were supposed to be known, ok?’ I said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Haah, and now people know how pathetic I am, first
people thought I was cool, now they think that I am a jerk’ she explained ‘I
was invisible and I was as good as that’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Maybe you are not supposed to be invisible’ I was
not ready to leave my point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Excuse me, why are you giving me a hard time at
this point? I am perfectly fine by walking alone’ she said and she had a
pathetic expression on her face. She have not clearly meant what she said, her
face was telling me how hard it was for her to walk alone. She always needed
somebody to walk with and wanted to talk with somebody always, which was what
she was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Talking about walking alone, where is Irfan?’ I
asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Big story’ she said ‘not going to be there for a
week’ she said by looking up and like talking to the wind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why? Is he alright?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Broke his leg’ she snapped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘How?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Football’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Is that real bad?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Not bad at all, he was waiting for a excuse anyway
and now he found it to ditch school and my mom won’t allow me to stay at home,
he is having a good time now, meal at bed and me in this stupid school’ she sounded
frustrated and a little bit disappointed for what her mom had done to her, the
maximum of cruelty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ask him how much he misses school, he surely will
be missing, make him jealous about how much you enjoyed in school and all that
stuff’ I suggested.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Nice suggestion, but not a good one, he will know
how much I enjoy school without him being here to mess up, ditch classes and
share textbooks’ she said ‘he will know how much boring chemistry would be
without him to tease that grumpy professor’ I listened closely like a good
student in math class.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘And this walking part is real hard, walking alone
sucks’ she has said just before that she was fine with walking alone and now
this ‘and I am scared to catch bus alone, scares the hell out of me when some
strangers stare at me’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Maybe I can help, walking with you until Irfan is
back and help you to catch the bus without you noticing how many strangers are
staring at you’ I said and I had hope, I was thinking of what to talk in the
next week and we would have to talk more as she walked very slowly, she should
have the speed she had in speaking in walking and the speed she had in walking
in speaking, she applied all those velocities wrong. Actually what to talk was
not a big deal, the talkative Zoya could never run out of topics to talk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No thanks’ she said and this time it followed with
her big, embarrassing smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Okay’ actually that was not okay, I had not asked
her permission to walk with her that day, so there was no question of her
permission for doing the same for a week or even more. I gave her a chocolate,
not quite like I promised, not a whole box, but a big one. She had no
hesitation to take it, she grabbed and thanked me and gave me one of her
sweetest smiles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are crazy about chocolates, huh?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Not quite, ice creams drive me crazy really’ she
said as she was proceeding to eat her chocolate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Your flavour?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Praline n cream’ she replied as she offered me a
piece of her chocolate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Never heard of such a flavour’ I commented.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Baskin Robbins’ she replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Rich lad’ I commented again, clearly making fun of
her. With that she gave me a hard punch on my chest like the ones she used to
give Irfan all that time. Honestly, it hurts a great deal, but was tolerable.
Irfan should have got used to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We talked for a great deal of time; anyway we had to
reach a fair deal of distance with her speed rate. I got her into a bus and
waved bye, she gave me a thanking smile and a wave and then the bus sped off
with her in it. I watched the bus disappear along the bend in the road and I
noticed her high fiving an old man in the bus. She had friends everywhere, of
every age, time and type. I tell you, she was a nasty piece of girl to deal
with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
***********<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All my unintentional intensions were fulfilled,
strange but true. I have not intended to walk with her for the next week with
her on purpose, but I did it was purely intentional, and right now don’t ask
me, I just don’t know how to explain that whole scenario. But I can definitely
say this, it was fun, a great deal of fun and I made a friend, a very special
and rare one. First of all, friends for me were rare, but she was rare of the
rarest. Irfan too had to be my friend, because they always came as a package
deal, honestly that was not a bad thing, because Irfan too was a great person
to be with, a gem as a friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After one week Irfan appeared and that was a bit sad
for me, now that he came, I wouldn’t get the honour to walk her to the bus. But
of course, coming back of Irfan was pleasant; the person Zoya with Irfan was
real different than with me. He thanked me for taking care of her, of course
without her hearing it, if she had heard, she would give him a hard time, that
was sure. She got this motto that she was not a small child to be taken care
of, but honestly saying, she needed protection more than a child, she was so
damn scared to walk alone and loneliness and silence used to freak her out. And
then still she said, I am not a small kid to be taken care of. But actually I
should have thanked him, but that would be cruel and humiliating. After all
what should I tell him, thanks for playing football, breaking your leg and
leaving your friend for me to talk for a week?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But to my surprise, Irfan wanted me to walk with
them all evening. At first I thought it would be boring to walk with both of
them together, they were this great friends known for forever and what was I, a
person came yesterday to their funny, silly and special world. But it was
nothing like I thought it would be, they both together were a piece of mess,
the fun they made, the things they discussed, the reasons they fought for, all
this things told me how simple, easy and adorable life actually was. I knew
almost everything about her by walking with her for two or three weeks, but
still that girl was full of mysteries, after knowing all those things, I barely
knew her, she still had knots to be untied. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I knew she had a craze for ice cream, her favourite
movie and book was ‘A walk to remember’, her best friend was Irfan, I knew she
wrote romance stories and I knew she was good at what she did. But all of them
were just silly when I knew more of her. Behind all those laughter, there were
millions of tears hidden, behind all that silly fights, there were real
sorrows, behind every talk, there was a loneliness hunting her, behind every
smiles, there were some missing and behind all that friends, there were some
strangers which she never wanted to stay as strangers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was from Irfan that I knew that she had lost her
mom when she was 5 years old, as I was mentioning her mom always; Irfan decided
it best to tell me. When I mentioned her mom, she smiled and acted like she had
a mom, I honestly didn’t knew how it would be like to lose a mom or to lose any
person in life as I had no experience to recall. But it must have been hard, at
least I know it now, after losing some special persons in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘But she herself mentioned mom once’ I told Irfan as
I was not convinced and as I recall her saying mom not allowing her to ditch
school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘When?’ Irfan was asking me while we were sitting in
the canteen and were having lunch, Zoya was away with her English teacher, to
sort out some of her academic problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘She once said, mom didn’t allow her to ditch
school’ I explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘She is talking about my mom’ he said ‘after her
mom’s death, she was taken care of by my mom, and we are close neighbours and
cousins’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I didn’t know’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘We both grew up together from childhood, her dad
and my dad was business partners too and we both are only children, so
obviously, we grew up like siblings and made it into friends somewhere in the
way’ he was saying ‘I never really fancied girls as friends, but I couldn’t
help it with her and she is a adorable sister too’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I did know something about you two being family’ I
said as it was necessary for me to make any comments at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘This is nothing you know about her, she is more
complicated than that, there are a lot of things which you still don’t know
about her’ he said and the time proved it true.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘She is a girl of mysteries’ I commented.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, but not for me, I should get some award for
fully sorting her out’ he said proudly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You too are a bit complicated’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘We grew up together, so that is obvious’ he winked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That day Irfan had not told me much about her, and I
too considered it best to sort her out on my own and that was a hard job, all
my life I was in unleashing those mysteries of that girl and still she stayed
that way, she was getting special and mysterious by every passing second, was
she some kind of angel?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That day we were walking through the road towards
the bus, she was chewing on something, Irfan right next to her and I a little
ahead. She was silent and so was us; she was looking around and musing the environment.
Like usual she was in her speed rate, I was restless to walk slowly, so always
I walked a little ahead in case her mouth was sealed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What you looking at?’ I heard Irfan asking her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Nature, trees in particular’ she answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What is with trees?’ Irfan asked again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I’ve got a thing for trees, especially in this
season when they are kissing their leaves goodbye; they are charming, growing
towards the sky, in a blue background with various shades of green’ she said,
all poetic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘<i>Wah Shaeir</i>,
now you got a crush on trees?’ asked Irfan and that didn’t went well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yes, do you have a problem with it or is she your
girl friend?’ by this I went near them to walk, fights were stronger when it
had patient audients.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No, of course not, you go on, but I will appreciate
it if you are walking a little faster’ said Irfan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Actually, I don’t need your appreciation’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I will go my way then’ claimed Irfan proudly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then go, na?’ she asked, like a very angry tiger
cub.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Mom will give me a hard time, which is the only reason
why I am walking with you’ he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Really, that is why...’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I meant tolerating your speed that is it’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘My speed comes with me, if that is not going well
with you, why don’t you just....’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What are you eating?’ I interrupted as I knew the
audient had to be impatient at that time as their fight was going to the worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Chewing gum, why?’ she asked me back. And Irfan
mouthed me a thanks for helping him out from the mess, I winked back at him,
all this without her noticing of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Just curious and why are you eating it?’ I asked as
I had nothing else to ask, as I started it to stop their fight, I had to find
something relevant to ask her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am having a bad breath today’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am not goanna kiss you’ I teased her in a silly
tone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am not goanna let you’ she said, in that same
tune as mine, she knew how to tease back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya’ Irfan interrupted us and came between us ‘I
think you should let him’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Idiot’ she said and gave him a very huge punch,
which should have hurt a big deal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am serious, you fantasised a lot of kissing him,
now you got a chance’ he said, that was embarrassing and surprising at the same
time, I didn’t know she fantasised about kissing me, I told you she was full of
mysteries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Excuse me? Fantasised?’ I asked to Irfan and to
her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah’ Irfan turned to me ‘she did’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Before or after ‘truth or dare’?’ I asked him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Before, that is the reason I asked her to do that’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That was not a play then?’I again asked him,
curious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yes, we played and she didn’t thought I would tell
her that and I never expected her to tell you’ he explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That was good, because of that I got two new
friends’ I commented, I saw Zoya’s face going all embarrassed, mad and desp.
She wanted that subject out, but I had another question left.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘The crush thing was no joke, it is true then?’ I
asked again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Very much true’ said Irfan pleasantly ‘what the
hell you thought, I mocked her simply?’ asked Irfan back, and I saw her face
getting madder, there was no doubt that she was goanna give him a hard time
after I left in my bus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It is valentine’s day next week’ said Zoya, I am
sure she did the interruption purpose fully, so that the crush thing would
disappear for some moments at least, anyway there was a tension between us
after Irfan told that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘So?’ asked Irfan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘So, this year, we are having a program’ she said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Seriously, a valentine’s day program? In our
school? I don’t believe this’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Under English club’ she said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why on earth English club?’ Irfan asked again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Western culture, I believe’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What is there? I mean program’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Dance, music and all I think’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Are we supposed to have a date?’ Irfan asked, he
was mad, no matter how western our school gets, there was limitations and a
hell of limitations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Are you out of your mind, Irfan? It is more like
our annual day and don’t know how they got the permission to do that’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That is bad’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why? Were you going to ask somebody?’ she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, Anita’ he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘But she is Christian’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘So, that matters? I am not going to be in some
passionate love, it is just a date, and you need to grow up girl’ he said,
sarcastically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You need to thing straight; you are living in
India, ok? Be cultured in an Indian way, don’t go for western, you are
uncultured when you are not following your own culture’ she was nothing
sarcastic; she was damn serious about what she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It is not my mistake that British dominated India
once’ he said, being silly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘So what? That means you have to live their way?’
she asked again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It’s a simple matter of a date, Zoya, leave that
alone, will you?’ he said, getting serious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No, I won’t and this is not just about a date, it
is much more than that, I am clearly not happy about your way of life’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I don’t want you to be happy with my life, you get
on good terms with your own life, I will look after my life and I am perfectly
alright about my way of life and it’s my way, so stay out of it’ that was
getting worse, and Zoya went out of words, she went silent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya, if you were to bring a date, who would that
be?’ I asked as I once more had to interrupt, and this time Irfan was mad so
there were no thanks and Irfan’s angry face was nothing good to watch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I don’t know’ she said after a long pause ‘I will
go with someone I know, not Irfan, he got Anita’ she said, and she was real mad
with Anita thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I think it leaves me with you’ she said without
making an eye contact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘So, you mean that passionate thing?’ I asked, it
was somehow important for me to know what she felt and didn’t knew why, I had a
huge desire to kiss her at that right moment, but I knew that it wouldn’t do
any good on our relation, if there was one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I will see you tomorrow, Ahmed, bye’ with that she
left without telling the answer and she was so swift which was an extraordinary
thing about her and she didn’t managed to get Irfan with her which told me very
clearly that she was very mad with Irfan. They fought usually, but a not
talking basis fight was very rare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> And I knew
that it was not a good evening for her. She had to fight with her best friend
and she had o face her own confusions and a big question of which she was not
sure about the answer. She was struggling to say and walk, I saw her walk away
towards the bus and at that moment I knew, if I was to have a life, it was with
her, only with her. I realised the girl of my life, she just walked into a bus,
she made my life, I stood watching her for a minute and it bought me a smile as
somehow I myself was sure that, she was not goanna go out of my hands, that she
belonged to me and that she would always come back to me whatever happened life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For the next days, she was walking alone, without
Irfan and didn’t give me a chance to talk, she slipped all the time and I
wanted to talk to her so much, it was a strong need. She was so disturbed and
that was the first time I saw her like that, she was always happy and fun. Her
face used to make me smile, made me sad that day, it was real hard for me to
watch her strange face, so was for Irfan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I met him and asked him about the whole thing, he
told me that it was likely for her to drop the fight, but my valentine thing
disturbed her and that she was not ready to talk to Irfan or solve their silly
fight. That made me feel guilty and it was my mistake for sure. So by each
second it became my need to talk to her and I thought Irfan would need the same
thing and so we both went up to her and blocked her path and forced her to stop
and listen to us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘We need to talk’ I said as Irfan was forcing her to
stay by blocking her path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I have nothing to talk, Ahmed’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya Irani, you listen to me’ Irfan started ‘don’t
you dare play me, I know you a great deal, so stop acting, now’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Oh really? I am acting Mr. Irani? You think so?
Then let it be and you know nothing about me’ she fired and then my role was to
stay silent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sarcastic! Out of all people, I don’t know you? I
don’t know my best friend, Zoya? Now this is funny’ Irfan did his sarcastic yet
strong denial and she went out of words which happened very rarely and that
told me how disturbed she was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘As far as I know you, Zoya, what you need right now
is to talk, and talk to me for god’s sake’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I....I have nothing to talk about’ she stammered<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then what is this drama all about?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘If I am the problem Zoya, I am sorry’ I
interrupted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You, stay out of this’ she fired at me and that was
the first time I saw her mad at me, all the confusions inside her came out as
frustration. Irfan winked me to stay away and I did as that seemed the right
thing to do then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya, spit it out, what is bothering you?’ Irfan
asked again and obviously we both knew the answer, but somehow Irfan wanted it
out of her mouth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You should know Irfan, you said you are my best
friend’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I know this for sure, my date thing is not
bothering you, because we have gone through the same fight for a hundred times
and you always made it funny at the end’ Irfan said and made his part clear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You’ she turned to me ‘please stay out of our life,
will you? We were happy before you, if you cannot find friends for yourself
that doesn’t mean that you can spoil ours’ that was the worse, my eyes went all
misty in a bare second and I said nothing. Deep down I knew she didn’t want me
to go away or that she hated my friendship. But the fact that her tongue
cheated her left me no choice but to leave without any complaints or questions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘If that is what you want, ok, anyway I had some
good days with you two and thanks for the company if it is to be thanked, bye,
Irfan, Zoya’ it was hard for me to say bye, but did I have a choice? I walked
away swiftly without giving her a chance for second thoughts. I saw her crying
and hugging Irfan, at least their problem was solved, weed was out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If I was the problem in her life and her friendship,
I was out of there as I never meant to spoil anything. It was hard to bid
goodbye, but I dealt with my fate and got settled with it, that was the wisest
thing to do, after all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
**************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After a week, Irfan came to see me in the library, I
assured him out as our librarian had a problem with noise, she cannot even bare
minute voices, let go of our high pitched voices. We went to the library
corridor which was near the boy’s bathroom and that area was always left
abandoned as none of the students actually fancied coming to library or even
crossing it. I didn’t know what bought him there, maybe he felt sorry for me,
or Zoya send him to say sorry which was not necessary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘So, what brings you to me? The guy who failed to find friends’ I said, a
little mean, I sounded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That is not funny, Ahmed’ he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Nothing was funny’ I said, without losing the power
in my voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am sorry for that’ He said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya send you?’ I asked him out of curiosity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I said sorry in my behalf, I too was your friend,
sorry that I kept my silence then’ at least Irfan was wise; he was not a post
man carrying Zoya Irani’s message, but a barer of his own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It’s ok, everything alright between you two?’ I
asked, didn’t knew why I asked that as the answer was obvious after I went out
of their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘The real question is, are you alright?’ Irfan asked
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am dragging my ass through library, you can guess
the answer, I mean who comes to our library?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, I can see that’ he smiled his half smile ‘I
am here to talk not for my best friend, as you too is my friend and I got to
consider your feelings too, I am here to talk for my sister’ well said by Irfan
Irani the great.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You don’t have to make it clear’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I will kill you both, shut your mouth and listen to
me, Ahmed’ he said and those words were just strong enough to make my mouth
shut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I know Zoya, she meant nothing, she was too
overwhelmed that she said something stupid, not you or anything can spoil our
friendship, it is marked down there, so, don’t worry about that’ he explained
‘she was not in her happiest after you left, which clearly states that your
presence is not the problem, but your absence and I honestly don’t want my
sister to be worried and I will never tolerate she being hurt, and now within a
month, I have grown fond of you too, so I will, most of all, hate to see you
both sad and hurting each other, so before you two make me mad and go out of
the equation, sort the problems out’ he ended his long lecture and I was glad
that I made it to his top list of friends, so I was not that bad at friendship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘But...’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘There is no but, you are the man and the eldest, so
come and sort it out before it gets worse and don’t worry, she will be lot
easier to deal with than you thought’ he assured me and went. Irfan too was an
angel, a messenger maybe, leading both of us through the right path, making us
regret of our bad doings and proud of what we did right. There were no
questions further after he left, it was my duty to sort our problems out as
Irfan’s sister’s sad face hurt me too. He was right, there was no need to
fight, she was stupid and mad and I am the eldest one, I should be more wise
and gentle, I should be the one to make her think straight instead of fetching
the wrong way myself. I was supposed to stay, I always was, I was stupid and
proud enough to step away when she told me to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She was in her classroom when I went to see her and
she was reading a book that was out of usual, she always talked merrily with
others in classroom instead of hiding her face in a goddamn book. Maybe she
sensed my presence, she stared up from the book and got stuck at my face, I was
not that charming for her to be stuck , maybe I was, after all, I was her high
school crush. Irfan called her to the corridor and she hesitated at first, but
nobody can deny Irfan’s angry face, scares you out, that guy. She came very
reluctantly and she was not quite looking at me, she was confused, scared,
embarrassed, guilty, all at a time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya, Ahmed needs to talk to you’ Irfan told her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No’ she denied without looking at him or me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am not asking your permission, you should talk
with him’ Irfan went all stubborn at times, and like I said it was hard to deny
him. So we ended up under the tree where we started it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Well, I am sorry’ she said, still not looking at
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘For saying all that’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You didn’t meant to?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No, never, I was so confused and mad and.....I
don’t know, it just came out’ she sounded very disturbed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Are you still mad and confused?’ I asked swiftly
and demanded answers quickly so that she wouldn’t get time to edit her
thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No, I am alright now, I was fighting with Irfan and
all that’ she sounded so innocent, buy why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why are you not looking at me while talking?’ I
asked ‘you never look down’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Sorry’ she said and lifted her face to look at me
which bought into view her beautiful face, misty eyes, blushed cheeks and full
lips. It made me smile at first and regret next that i was the reason for the
absence of that huge, dirty smile on her face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why are you blushing?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am not’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are, your cheeks are all pink’ I said <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Pink? Is that good?’ she asked, never been that
innocent before and I have never seen a girl that innocent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No, it’s not cool, like the Z thing revealed’ I
said, to make her go mad and smile at the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Really?’ she touched her cheek and rubbed it like a
small kid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Now, it gets worse’ I commented and chuckled, now
she realised I was kidding her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Excuse me, what is your problem?’ she asked,
exactly like how she asked me the first time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘My problem, is you’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Huh?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Zoya Irani is my problem; can you find a solution
for that?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are mad’ she stated and that was kind of true.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, for a date with you’ I made it as easy as
possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You really have nothing for me?’ I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘No’ she said, without actually facing my gaze.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Then why did you say that you would go with me as
my valentine?’ I had a lot of questions to counter her and I was the debate
team captain, so there was no way her defeating me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That was a joke’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Which followed a big fight?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I love drama’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That was too beyond a drama’ I commented.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Not my problem’ she said again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Of course it is your problem that you fell for me,
that you unintentionally fell in love with your crush who accidently became
your friend’ I was not to narrate the whole story there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘For god’s sake, I had no crush at you’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Irfan said’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He lied, then’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ok, he lied, but my eyes cannot lie to me, I have
seen you stuck staring at me’ I said and smiled, embarrassing her of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That is bullshit’ she said ‘what you think, that
you are charming?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Yeah, I am gorgeous, deal with the fact, girl’ I
winked at her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You are ugly’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Ok, agreed, but don’t say that you have not felled
for that ugly, charming boy’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Just stop this, ok?’ she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why should I?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘It’s bothering me’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Really, then why don’t you just spit it out and get
good with it?’ I asked very swiftly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That you fell for me and will go on a date with me’
I said and she became silent and started at me for a long time and came firing
at me,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You did it na? You happy now?’ she punched my chest
like she had gone mad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘<i>Kya</i>?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘<i>Hogaya na
pyaar, abbh kya</i>?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t want to answer it, what was the whole
point, again? Everything was clear and out, no secrets and no confusions. I
moved towards her and took her hands punching me and forced her still. I stared
at her eyes and she went still and stared back at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What are we going to do now?’ I asked her back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘You tell me’ she said slowly and I held her more
close to my chest and surrendered her in my arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘<i>Chalo shaadi karee?’
</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Irfan <i>se
poocthi hein’ </i>she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘We need a witness, right?’ she asked back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Are we eloping?’ I asked, acting surprise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjajv5-My3YkqDqre36GEbYeP2tPgb7JeIHngpQoATvFMxHhrm-Miq33ZR_DW6sbk-wXd-_Fq13k4O9GVvdTKuijtnmIGo_OMcXamkVrPH4M9hmAd1SPuohRW7vUfBmrSqH5jVPxkbXG1WN/s1600/images+(22).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjajv5-My3YkqDqre36GEbYeP2tPgb7JeIHngpQoATvFMxHhrm-Miq33ZR_DW6sbk-wXd-_Fq13k4O9GVvdTKuijtnmIGo_OMcXamkVrPH4M9hmAd1SPuohRW7vUfBmrSqH5jVPxkbXG1WN/s400/images+(22).jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Let me ask Irfan to convince dad.......’ she was
going on with the talking, but it was irresistible for me to kiss her, I didn’t
want to wait long and so I kissed her and she kissed back, we could make the arrangements
later. And that oldest tree witnessed one more uniting, and this was a strange
unison it ever witnessed, after all that silly fights and talks, we marked our
love under that legendary tree and smiled towards the sky, thanking god, for
giving us each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Right after she graduated high school, I married
her, not because I was afraid of losing her or something, because there was
simply no reason for me to stay away from her for another moment. I was ready
for the commitment and there was no question of finding somebody else or
anything like that, she was the girl for me and she came earlier in my life
which made it possible for both of us to live together long. And so, I got
married at 19 and she at 18, it was strange and sweet. We started our life
early and we faced no problems, we were fine all along, it was love and my
charm which held us for so long, I am kidding about the charm part though. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> ***********<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And now when I sit here, outside a school in London in
my Jaguar waiting for my daughter to come out of school, I realise that I am
the luckiest guy in world, I got all I asked for, a big home, a well known
business, a charming daughter, just like her mother. I and Zoya lived together
for 10 years and then she left, leaving me a baby girl. There was no fights
when she left me, she still had that smile on her when she slowly closed her
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That was unexpected, that morning when I took her to
hospital, I was hoping to see another living soul not to lose her in that dark
room, it was hard on me, but I had to deal with it. I wept by holding my baby
close to my heart, she was what left of Zoya, the living part of Zoya. Time had
this power of healing pains and making people forget things but time failed to
make me fall in love again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was lost in her love, her smile, her talks, and I
simply didn’t fell in love again. It was being 10 years now, it is my daughter’s
10<sup>th</sup> birthday and still I remember that huge, dirty smile of Zoya,
her fights and strong punches, I was still in love that I didn’t had to fall
for another living soul, she was never gone inside me. She lived and her heart
beat with mine. I felt her with me, I saw her in my life, holding and being
there with me and helping me with life. It was never like she went, she stayed
somewhere around, watching our lives from a corner and silently smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am a successful person, in everything, and now I
realise that she was the biggest and sweetest success of my life. She was there
inside me, her presence was visible in whatever I did and I had the happiest 10
years of my life with her. Her first novel came in print after she went, I was
sorry that she didn’t lived to see that, but she saw me grow and she went
merrily seeing my success and seeing our daughter’s cute face, she was happy
that she provided me some company before leaving. Her 3 novels came into print
after that, I got the first one’s author’s copy, autographed by her, she didn’t
lived long to see the rest. I was glad and her smiling face came to me while I
saw those books in print. I was proud and happy and I don’t know how to explain
that feeling, how to explain that special girl of mine, I just always knew, I
was in love, I am in love and will always be in love with that mad mad girl who
made my life, worth living for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My daughter came running to my car and opened the
car and busted into the front seat, she started at me in surprised and dropped
her mouth open like Zoya used to do when she had a crush on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What you have a crush on me, Zoya?’ I asked, my
little Zoya.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Where is uncle Pete?’ she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why, you don’t want me to pick you up from school?’
I asked her. As an answer for that she leaned and kissed my forehead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘I am glad, daddy’ she said and smiled that huge,
dirty smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘What was that thing with that boy?’ I asked her<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Which boy?’ she asked back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘At the entrance of school’ I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘My friend, Michael, giving me a hard time’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He thinks I have a crush on that guy, our senior
year, but he is kidding’ she said, little embarrassed. I smiled at her and she
always made me remember Zoya, I have not actually watched Zoya’s eyes, but my
daughter’s eyes make me remember Zoya, it was like she lived through our
daughter. And my little Zoya was exactly like her mother. She got that same
charm, fun, eyes, hair and that dirty smile and I hope that once she too would make
a good writer and that she would fall for her crush once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Why are you taking me today?’ she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Don’t want me to?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Just curious, dad’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘We are going to Irfan uncle’s’ I told her about Irfan,
the greatest friend me and Zoya ever had, he too was settled in London, being a
part of my business, we were partners, there was no way of getting rid of him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘That is great, that Imran Irani ditched school,
today, faking a head ache, I got to see him, how dare he left me alone for
school?’ she was getting mad about her best friend being absent for the day,
she and Imran was of same age and was together and they were just great.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘He is not faking a headache, Zoya, he is moving
near to us’ I told her about their decision of moving near our house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">‘Wow, he never told me, he is goanna have a hard
time and a good time after that’ she said and I realise, the next lucky person
alive will be my little Zoya’s crush and I am the luckiest as I got both of
those girls in my life and because they both were always mine and always will
stay special.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-43126990901575500412013-01-09T06:55:00.000-08:002013-01-09T06:55:58.013-08:00The Brightest Shadow!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Thu sach mein meri Saya hein yaar’</span></i><span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">
I would always tell her this and it doesn’t drive her crazy, though almost
every other thing would make her mad. And I always am true about that
statement; she is my ‘Saya’, my ‘shadow’. It’s like her father chose her the
right name.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We met from high school. She was my
lab partner for 2 years, that is how we made it close. On my first day at
school, I have noticed her walking through the veranda. It was some kind of fun
to watch, she is this all crazy, childish girl. I should say this, I adored her
at the first sight, not only because she had that gorgeous little smile which
bought her dimple into light, but because she was mad and mischievous in her
own adorable way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And when our professor put us
together as a team, my friend wished me good luck with that mess of a girl. I
didn’t know that there was a future coming for both of us, me and that stupid
girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She flashed me with a stupid, cute
smile, she could go sarcastic even with her smile, and she was like, ‘come
buddy, I will take you to hell’. And being a gentleman, I shook hands with her
as that seemed the right thing to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And the first day was not like I
expected it to be, she was talking and talking and never really shutting her
mouth. Professor warned us two times in a row and it was like we were going to
be out by the next few minutes. I tried my best not to listen to her, but you
have no idea, how interesting she is and i couldn’t resist listening to her. In
short words, I messed up my first lab that year, and was out in less than half
hour. I wanted to blame her, but she was laughing breathlessly that i too
couldn’t help laughing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Come on, let’s go’ she said and
threw my bag at me. I followed her like a puppy and we ended up in the huge
front lawn of our school, she sat under a tree and started eating a chocolate.
Nothing was making any sense. I have always seen girls crying for being fired
by professors and this girl was all cool about the whole situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She offered me a chocolate, but I was
not in the right mood, I was really worried about my grades, seriously, i was
being a girl there, not her, she was like musing every single second as it’s
her last. At last i ended sitting near her and listening to her crap that was
interesting after all. Believe it or not, I met her that day and i knew almost
everything about her, even her favourite teacher. Her talking was that
informative. Now, it’s obvious how much she talks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It was our last hour and we walked
together after school, when she reached near her bus, she said, ‘So, I will see
you tomorrow at school, Krish’. Honestly, i gave that girl a lot of thoughts
that night, there was something special in her which caught me by heart. I
don’t talk about all girls to my mom, but i told about her to mom and she also
ended up laughing, she too wanted to meet her some day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Hey Krish, want some chocolates?’
that was how she greeted me that day. And yeah, this time I took the chocolate
and yeah that was real good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Actually I sacrificed my chocolate
to you’ she said and i was like holding the chocolate half way to my mouth and
staring at her in surprise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘What?’ I asked and i was nearly
laughing because i knew there was something funny coming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘My dad allows me 5 chocolates a week
and i gave you one, now you do the math’ wow! She was serious about that? I
wanted to laugh out and I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘What?’ she asked out of wonder, you
should have seen that expression of hers at that time, it was real funny and
childish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Seriously Saya?, a budget for
chocolate?’ i asked and she shook her head<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Don’t worry, i will buy you when you
run out of money, ok?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘cool’ by that she walked away and i
saw her high fiving with her friends and dancing into the class.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We grew close in less than a week, I
met her parents and she met mine, they had some relations which we were not
aware of. My father is a doc by the way, cardiologist, he was a popular doctor
who was always busy, but i love him a great deal, he is my best buddy, we would
play beach volleyball, hang out in weekends and all that stuff and my mom was
so adorable. All in all, i had a happy family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Our high school went just that way
and we graduated with good grades, obviously she topped me. And we decided to
go to college together; we went for a bachelor degree as med school was not a
choice at all. Actually I had business in mind, but being a doc’s son, i was
forced to go health science and I took it happily as I loved my dad. The pact
was I go science for 3 more years and i get full freedom to choose my masters,
if i am ever doing masters, it would be business administration as I am already
done with the science thing, it is not my kinda thing. At least i gave it a try
and my father should be satisfied, that would be enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And college was fun, the funniest
part is, we still were lab partners, why lab? We share our books too, obviously
she does the writing stuff, preparations for exam and I had nothing left to do,
though I always want to have good grades, i get lazy all the times and give up.
And about her, she was rather lazy than me, and never touches book until the
exam and sleeps a lot, even on exam days. But still she was brave and always
scored the highest mark in class. I was jealous of her being there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And boys in college are jealous of me
and the girls of her, because she was this good looking girl, available for
nobody, and I was the stunning guy who was available for everybody. They were
jealous because I never stay long with anybody, but her. We come as a package
deal, like they say. She was this only girl whom I don’t flirt with, because
she wouldn’t understand that I am flirting. She was that stupid at times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">There are advantages by having a girl
as friend. She would force me to church on Sunday, though i try my best to
ditch. And she always managed to take me away from alcohols, first she would
shout and then she would beg and then she would cry and it is all done, i can’t
stand emotions, especially her tears. So i ended up on having beers which was
allowed only on weekends, that too non-alcoholic at times. And there would be
someone to worry for us and she would stand by my side at all situations, i
always had someone to relay upon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Our life was going just fine and we
were having a good time at college and that is when she met with an accident on
the way to her home from college, she used to come with me every day and
unfortunately that day she took a taxi as she was mad at me for some reason. I
was mad at her and didn’t take her calls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And that was when i received a call
from her Dad telling me that she was hospitalised. I told myself that
everything would be right and that it would be a small crash which bought her
small bruises on her legs, and I was really scared and was sorry that I fought
with her and send her home in a taxi instead of taking her myself. I chanted
prayers honestly for the first time of my life and rushed into the hospital.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I was there after 4 hours of the
accident, only then i knew about it. If we were not fighting, i should have
known, because she would text me always and when I fail to see her texts I
would call or text.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She was already in the room when i
reached and i met her dad from outside and the worst was waiting for me there.
Her accident was real gross and she was really hurt, she had wounds on legs and
arms and had hit her head hard and lost a lot of blood and the worst, she lost
her sight. She was blind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The fact hit me, she can no longer
see me, see nothing, she was afraid of dark and now she has to face it all her
life, i wanted to weep or cry out loud, a lump formed in my throat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Did she know?’ i choked out<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Yeah she did, and she never stopped
crying, doc gave her some sedatives that she would get some time to deal with
it’ her always enthusiastic dad explained to me in a weird way and i knew he
too wanted to cry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I saw my Saya sleeping peacefully and
I felt dried tears on her cheeks. I couldn’t think how hard it would be on her.
She couldn’t see this light again, I closed my eyes and that darkness scared me
off. I had a vision of her laughing without control on the first day we met. I
wanted my best friend to do that again, I wanted some miracles to happen. I
watched her sleep for hours and fell into a sleep near her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">When I woke up in the morning, she
was not there, the bed was empty and that scared me off, i wanted her in my
sight, i wanted to take care of her and never get her out of my sight that she
would get into trouble again. After watching the panic on my face, her mom
explained her being took away for the diagnosis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And I met her in the room again, we
were alone and I watched her sitting all dull, this was not the Saya i knew of,
my Saya never managed to keep her mouth shut, this was completely somebody
else, i watched with pain her eyes fixed into the same direction for a long
time. Every other second made me more aware of the fact. She didn’t knew i was
there and if she knew too there wouldn’t be a ‘hey there, buddy’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Hey there, Saya’ i said as
enthusiastic as possible, i was trying to be her to bring her back and i knew
that I would fail, that was not the right time, but i didn’t wanted to be
emotional and cry with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Krish’ she whispered and that was
all she said, i watched her eyes go all misty and that was really aching. I
went and sat near her and took her hands in mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Still mad at me?’ i asked as soft as
possible<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘No’ she answered and that was not
her, she never was satisfied with single word answers <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I stayed silent for some time and she
did too and we sat like that, her hand in mine and she was so cold and pale, i
didn’t knew what to do, what to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Can you see me Saya, those beautiful
eyes, funny nose and curved lips?’ i asked, trying to be as pleasant as
possible and that was hard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I am blind’ she said and that was
all she said, with no emotions and her eyes fixed somewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Come on, give it a try’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I am blind Krish and this is
serious, deal with the fact’ she shouted at me and she was crying at the same
time; that crushed my heart so badly. That i couldn’t hold back the tears
anymore. I hugged her tight and wept like a small girl. I cried it all out and
she cried with me. I was helpless, i had nothing left to do, and I can’t even
give my eyes as she had her problems with veins. It was very hard on me and i
couldn’t help it. I felt her patting my back, i should have been the one to do
it and she was still caring, after all which happened to her. What more can i
ask to god, when he gave me this friend which i can’t explain in words. And now
i was very angry as he did this to the sweetest girl i ever met in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I sat outside my apartment by
watching the stars, me and Saya used to do it almost all the time, and now she
couldn’t watch the stars. We would talk from there and she would write her
stuff while i would disturb her with my guitar. Though my music is the ugliest
ever, she would appreciate and say ‘well done, rock star’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And i would tell her ‘<i>Wah Shayer, aap jaado karthi hein’ </i>and
she would get mad at me because she thinks that i am making fun of her, that
was not fun, by the way, she could do magic with her words. If i am ever goanna
compose music, she would write the lines for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">My thread of thoughts was disturbed
by my dad’s pat on my shoulder. I turned to see my dad’s disturbed face. He was
this kind of person, who always stayed happy and enthusiastic and a change on
his face that took a negative change happens as rare of the rarest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Hey dad’ i said as i had nothing
else to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘You want some dinner?’ he asked. He
never asked questions like that to me, he would be all cool and would always
ask questions like ‘hey champ, what’s up?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I am not hungry’ my answers were
also not the usual and i wasn’t supposed to be the usual then, after all that
happened very suddenly to the person i cared the most.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Krish, it’s ok for you to cry, don’t
hold it back, let it come out’ he said, like he was reading my mind completely.
I stayed silent and he continued<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I too was a boy like you back then,
Krish and my friends used to make fun of me by saying that I am a mommy boy and
that I cry like girls and honestly I never was embarrassed of myself. They
didn’t know how it felt to be a mommy boy and how it felt when we finally cry
out our feelings’ he paused and i was looking down, his words bought a war
inside my heart and brain and i was too overwhelmed to look up and i felt my
eyes wet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I love you dad’ that is all i said
and then i was on him, he was hugging me tight against his well made body and i
felt his love all over my heart. He is the dad who every son would wish to
have; god has done everything right to me since that night. That simple comfort
from him was enough for me, maybe i was a mommy boy, but there was this feeling
i got which not all other boys get like my dad said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I went to see Saya the next day and
she was all ready to go home, i wanted to take her home and i did. She was
silent all along and her favourite song played in the car, she didn’t even
notice that. That song has always done that job and now she was somewhere else
and was lost. I felt immense pain inside me and i tried hard not to become
emotional again. That is not what she wanted; though she may wish for that, it
was not goanna bring her back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And then i visited her every day. Her
father said that she was not making much improvement and that she always wished
to stay on her own. When i go visit her i would sit with her and talk and she
was silent all along. But she was listening, i knew.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I am not coming to college anymore,
Krish’ she said one day and i was shocked to hear her talk and what she talked
was crap. There was no way I am letting her ditch the college. Whatever happens
i was goanna take her to college like usual after the Christmas holidays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘No, you are going’ I said, maybe i
sounded harsh, but that was fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I can’t’ she sounded helpless, but i
was not goanna give up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘You are a good listener Saya, you
still will make the topper and i will help you’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘It is not easy, Krish’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘And you have to deal with it, we did
passed through many difficulties and let it come, we will face it and you are
strong enough’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I am not sure about that anymore’
she said and at last i did convince her to go to college and also to take a
walk along the beach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We walked through the beach, her
hands in mine and at that time of night, the beach was almost empty and
peaceful. There was no other sounds than some distant horning of cars and soft
sound of waves. She was taking it all in, all minute sounds and when i lifted
her, she insisted on walking so that she could feel the sand under her feet. It
was pleasant for me to watch her walking and breeze taking her hair up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">At that moment i knew, she was not
just a friend, there was something more than that between us. We were
inseparable and there was some invisible bond and that can’t possibly be made
just by friendship. And i couldn’t resist staying with her all the time. For
the first time in my life, i noticed that my best friend was very beautiful. I
needed time to sort all that out. I couldn’t get any sense of what was
happening inside my head, but at some point i did knew what was going on in my
heart. I was in love with my best friend and i knew it started all at the
beginning and that i was not ready to accept the fact then, i was scared, what
if i lose her and maybe i was too proud, to accept that i was in love like all
my other friends or maybe i was confused with the friendship thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And then i didn’t want to spare a
minute, i didn’t want anymore confusions or secrets; i was ready to accept the
fact. Earlier we talked through texts more and maybe that wifi relation created
all these confusions. Or maybe because, there were no emotions in those texts,
those were just words. When i started spending more time near her, all that
confusions changed into a decision and at that point there was no going back.
She was my best friend for god’s sake and in my life, nobody like that happened
to me before that i felt this secured and loved. I was not going to hold back
the biggest truth from my best friend anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We were sitting on the small wall in
the beach and she was still listening to the sea and the breeze was still cool
and my hands were all sweating for no reason. I stared at her for a long time
and then i didn’t know when and how it happened, my lips met with hers. That
was a great feeling, i was not aware of what was going on, but i was sure that
i wanted it to happen so much. And to my surprise, there was no sign of
protesting, she kissed me back. She was so sweet and tender. I felt her getting
more fragile in my arms and it was very cold, that December night cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I hugged her close to my body and she
rested her head on my shoulders. There were no words, that kiss had said it all.
And from the brightness of her face, i knew she too wanted this to happen and
that she realised the fact even before i figured it all out. She knew what we
had was love or something more. But girls, no matter how much they talk, keep
some things to themselves. And that was good that she kept it to herself. I
realised it myself and that was the best way of realising. Maybe if she did say
that to me earlier, i should have freaked out and then when i would realise, it
would be too late.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It took her sight for me to realise
all that, i wanted that personal touch to know all that and girls are always
better there, they don’t get confused more there. God did have a plan for me
and her. Everything was happening according to his plan and suddenly it all
felt good. He has always done the good for me. I met that girl and didn’t fell
for her at the first sight but fell for my best friend. And there was so much
love inside and i felt good to be with her, no matter what.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She was asleep on me while my clock
showed half past eleven. It was always been wonderful to watch her sleep. There
were times when i would watch her sleep and smile and she was so much into
sleeping. In all literature class she would be half asleep, but still she
managed to score the highest marks. When i go for some party at her home, when
clock would show ten, her mom would say, ‘she already went to bed’ and on
Saturdays she would sleep till noon, but on Sundays she would be up early to
push me to the church. And if she was tired after a trip, she would sleep
through a day. I never understand, how a person manage to sleep this much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I read her books and spend more time
with her. She was coming back, she started talking, but i missed that stupidity
in her talking. And she enjoyed me reading to her. And her parents loved me
being there for her. It was like all of them have known all along and i was the
only dump one. I caught her mom smiling when she saw Saya lying on my chest and
me reading a book for her. That would be a perfect scenario to watch for a
third person. all days i left her home after her being a sleep and returned as
soon as i wake up and i am not much a sleeping person. and my mom insist on
having at least breakfast with her. My parents missed me around the house, but
they were proud and happy for what their son was doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It was the New Year’s Eve and i
forced her into our favourite spot, Terrace of my apartment. First she had said
no and as I am that a charmer, i managed to take her at last. Usually on New
Year’s Eve we would hang out with friends in parties, but this one was special,
that a party of our own in our favourite place sounded the best. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We sat on the small wall which
overlooked the city, people were rushing away and all of them were busily
heading to parties to make their Eve wild and loud. I suddenly didn’t know what
was so special in the thing we have done for the past years. This night was not
about drinks or disco songs, for us, this night was leaving behind of whatever
we lost that year and living on what we had for the rest of our life. That
thought provided me of comfort. I have never been philosophical in life, but
people change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Krish’ her sweet voice called and
she had my full attention<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Yeah’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Do I still have dimples?’ she asked
and smiled that weird smile. I saw the old Saya flashing there, this was the
Saya i missed for so long, which felt like a life time to me. She appeared all
funny and stupid again. Her dimples flashed and I loved to watch her smile and
no doubt that her smile was stunningly beautiful and childish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I bet that you are having that
stupid smile on you right now’ she said again and she was right, there was no
way that i was not smiling while i had everything i ever wanted for the first
time of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Who the hell said that you can’t
see? And about your dimples, they are still there, ugly as always’ i teased
her, it was always fun to tease her, it would feel like teasing a one year old
niece, if i had any.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Really?’ she asked and the
expression on her face couldn’t leave me without laughing and after a long
time, i laughed out loud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Kidding’ i said and i watched her
face lit up like a small kid and i loved the whole thing about that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I made her listen to my newly
composed piece of music and she said, she would throw my guitar away, in case i
am not going to stop playing that. She was back all enthusiastic and energetic
as ever. And i knew she liked my music and that she was just not ready to
accept my work, she always did that and that is her way of saying that she
loved things. She seemed all childish and innocent again that night, for me it
was like i got my whole life back. That was what exactly i wanted to see my
friend come back to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She lied on my lap like she was
watching the stars, but i was sure that she was taking that entire breeze into
her. And she wanted to talk non-stop, which was definitely a good sign. We kept
on talking about things and she narrated her new story to me and i loved it but
like always, doesn’t cared to appreciate it and she deserved that for what she
did to my great work on my guitar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Let us talk about our old lovers and
crushes!’ she said and she seemed all dreamy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I don’t think that it’s a good idea’
I made a face and was sad that she couldn’t see that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Why not?’ she seemed like a
complaining kid then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Because I don’t want to talk about
your god damn crush and I definitely don’t wanna talk about my ex’s, they suck
and you know all that yaar and the possibility of you finding a reason for
fighting seems obvious at this point’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘How was your first kiss?’ she asked
out of nowhere, she knew all details about it and what was the point of
bringing that up again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘I don’t really remember anything
now’ and i haven’t lied, that was the truth. That may be my first kiss, but not
the real one, so there was no point in being dreamy about that for the rest of
my life. But the first kiss i had shared with her was the real and best one and
i would never ever forget that in my life. And if she wanted to know about
that, i was available.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘What about yours?’ I asked back, and
i had no recollection of she sharing about that sort of thing with me. And i
was not this kind of guy who would go behind someone and force them to share
their things with me, if she wanted to say, i would listen with full heart. And
she was not this kind of girl who has to be asked to share her things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘You know about that, i think you
shared it with me’ she said and i saw no kidding on her face. She was serious.
She had her first kiss with me. That was a real news to me and wow, i couldn’t
believe my ears. She even dated her high school crush and this is what she
got?.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">If she was not lying on my lap, but
was sitting next to me, i should have given her yet another kiss. I stared down
at her and i was glad that she couldn’t see how pathetic i looked at that exact
moment. I had no words to explain her or what she meant to me. I asked god, why
it took this much time for me to realise all that. And i was angry at him for
reason i didn’t knew.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Two more years passed away and she
adapted to the environment easily than i thought. She started doing things on
her own, she stopped sitting in her room all time and started to come out,
socialise with people. She was getting around good and i was glad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We went for many trips, beaches of
Goa, mountains of North; she told me that she could see through me. You have no
idea what it did to me; i had a feeling which i can’t explain. She was this
kind of person who adored travelling and i was glad that she was still enjoying
her trips.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She got better by each moments and i
was getting back my best friend. We finished college and she did her best, she
was so strong all along.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Instead of doing masters, i wanted to
make a music career and my parents and friends promoted me, and it was not a
big deal to go to music when living in Mumbai, the city of dreams. But Saya
wanted me to do masters, and i listened to her out of everybody, not only
because she was special, but she was good when it came to things about
education and career. For her she wanted to stay home because she thought it
would be hard for her to study. She was real crazy there, she forgot how great
she did those two years at college.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She wanted to write and yeah, i said
‘of course, you should write, but I am not goanna allow you to sit in home
while you want me away at college sucking my brain’. It was not just that, i
had the same reason for her which she had for me while it came to education.
She would have a writing career, but why ditch education and considering how
great she was at studies, i simply couldn’t let her go free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And if i ever was doing masters, it
would be business of course, because i have had already enough with health
science, i proved i couldn’t make a Doc or anything in that territory. I wanted
to give business a hand and see how good i would do there. After all i have a
choice and i chose this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Saya wanted to do literature, but it
was not fair to leave her alone, so we decided upon going to a business school
in Hyderabad. I told her we would do
literature, but she insisted on business, like always she considered my choice
first. And i decided i would spend yet another 2 years of my educational life
doing masters in literature. After all i had a small interest in literature, so
did Saya had in business. And therefore our educational plans became just
perfect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The day before we went for college, i
took her to the church. Earlier she used to take me and didn’t know why i grew
fond of god. And i knew how perfectly happy she seemed in churches and how
happy she always looked to see me at church. By then, i didn’t ask for reasons,
i just did the things if it could bring a smile on her face. She was always
beautiful when smiling and i wanted to see her like that forever. Her happiness, her tears and emotions
mattered in my emotions then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I watched her praying silently in the
church. I honestly had nothing to ask god then, i already had everything i ever
wanted in my life. While she was with me, that was all i ever could ask for
myself. Her eyes were closed and she was chanting. That was something very fortunate
to watch. And she always bought a smile to my face and a sweet pain to my
heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Saya’ i whispered. She smiled
sweetly and turned to me, she was happy like a little kid, like she had nothing
to worry about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It was time for me to make the
commitment, i no longer had to think. If her single smile could make my life,
what was there to think much, i just had to act swiftly, before i lose my best
friend to anything. I had everything when i am with her and she seems to be my
only need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘<i>kya
tum hamesha keliye meri saya banjayega yaar?’ </i> i spitted it out and there was no weird
feeling, it all came right and normal. I made her feel the ring in my hand and
i was not on my knee as it couldn’t provide anything into that situation. And
that was not my great grandmother’s ring. I bought one for her, she was special
when i haven’t even met my grandmother. It was not expensive, but it had a
diamond on it somewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Krish, i can’t...i...sorry’ she
stammered and i saw pain in her beautiful eyes. That was not the answer i
expected and that was not the happy ending i dreamt of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Saya.?’ That is only what came out
of my mouth right then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Krish, i cannot see anything, i
cannot see you changing, i cannot see our children growing, i cannot see what
you want me to see, you cannot surprise me with gifts and...’ what was wrong
with her. Why was she thinking of herself as a disabled person. There were
things which only she could do to me. Only she could make me talk endlessly,
only she could make me laugh uncontrollably, only she could lead me in the
right path, only she could make me the person i am, all because she was the
best, simply the best i got in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And i knew what exactly i had to do
to make her think straight, after all i was her best friend and i knew all the
ways to fix her, i have done it for years. I have managed to pull her up from
fights and push her into parties, handling her was no big deal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I took her hands gently and placed it
on my face, i made her feel my face and i asked,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Can you see me?’ she closed her eyes
and after a small while, a smile adored her face and she said,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Those beautiful eyes, funny nose and
curved lips, yeah, i can see you’ i took her hand and enclosed it in mine and
closed the distance between us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">. ‘This is exactly how i want you to
see things for me’ i said and a tear prickled her smiling cheeks, at that
point, i simply couldn’t resist, i kissed her gentle and held her close to my
heart. There was no yes, but her smile was enough for me to slip the ring on to
her finger. Honestly it suited her thin tall fingers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">i didn’t had to ask her, when we
became friends, i didn’t wanted her permission to fall in love with her, all
because i always knew what she wanted and how she wanted it and when it came to
the biggest thing, marriage, i had no doubt what she wanted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘About what you said earlier, that
children part, yes of course, but that surprise gifts, i don’t think that its
goanna happen’ i teased her<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Why?’ she asked like a little girl
instead of teasing back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Because i know how expensive it
would be to please you’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘Cheapo’ she said and punched my
chest hard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">‘<i>Bas
mujhe surprise karthe hi rehna’ </i>i said and hugged her again, more tightly
this time, never to let her go out of my arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">There was a time when we would high
five and laugh out loud when some of our friends say, ‘we are madly in love
guys’. We are not mad, definitely i am not mad. About her, i am not sure. If my
dad was not a cardiologist but a physiatrist, i should have made an appointment
for her with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">She fights all the time and tells me,
fight helps a relationship reach higher and make a relation more intimate. What
you say guys? Is that right? I don’t
agree with that because, she drives me nuts guys!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We are planning on a summer beach
wedding on the beaches of Goa right after our graduation and honeymoon most
probably in London where we are planning do masters in literature. I just know
this now. She definitely is my ‘Saya’ and i don’t know how dark my life would
have become without her in it. She was a ‘shadow’ which bought ‘light’ into my
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Bas thu muskuraathi rehna, zindagi bar!! Agar
tumare muskurahat jaado kar sakthe hein muj par, phir socthi kyoon hein, bas
yoon hi karna!!<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
</div>
Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-81526115626363115412012-10-02T03:54:00.002-07:002012-10-02T03:54:36.017-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">It will be a big lie, if
i say that i am inspired from nothing, of course i am inspired, not exactly
from the lives around me, particularly relations. Yes that is it; i am inspired
from relations, around me, around the globe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">It’s strange how
relations happen, everything changed, then why not relations?. I have always
asked, is it possible for me to have a brother?. I have a very convincing
family, but it never meant that i don’t miss a brother’s love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">I should be so lucky to
have sisters, right? All six of them?. I have watched them all my life and all
of them are different from each other yet the same. I have always found something
special from each of them. They meant a lot to me in my life, I don’t really
care to explain what is special in them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">We always need a push in
our life and i have always failed to realise what i had inside me, and then is
when we need our loved ones the most. And i had them all along, not everybody
gets that in their life. I am lucky enough to have a big family and caring
friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">Talking about relations,
I don’t know where i should start, i have seen people in life, but only a part
of them, I don’t think that 15 years is enough to see this entire world. I have
seen good peoples and my parents never let me in sight of the bad ones for
which I am always great full to them. I have watched different relations and
felt most of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">I am a friend, a sister
and a daughter, and I am really satisfied with the peoples i share my life
with. I have seen my sibling’s families, we all were a single family, but still
all my sisters had their own family. They fight, they love, they cry and at last
no matter what happen, they hold their hands and lean against their soul mates
which is always a great thing for me to watch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">Like i have said before,
i believe fights are a part of love, so when i see some people fight, i watch
them till the end, because i always knew that there was lot of love coming at
the end. Just think of a life without fights, horrible? Right?. Everyone should
not think the same way as me, but this is what i feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">Talking about sister and
brother, i have this nephew and niece, i used to feel jealous when i see he
care for her, that is really stupid of me as they are just children. But still
it’s nice to watch and that always bought that missing of brother feeling. What
if i too had a brother like that?. We cannot make relations, right? It happens
in its way which is always strange and sweet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">Will you think about me
as stupid if i say, i haven’t even met the person who i consider as my brother?.
But i simply trust in our relation, could anybody accept a relation like that?,
maybe i am the only person who can accept that. Maybe he never thought about me
as a sister, but he was always a brother to me, strange!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">I cannot ask for more
love as long as i have my parent’s love, it’s a natural phenomena, right? Parents
love?. But that is much and much beyond that to me, I simply cannot ask for
more love from anyone when i consider their love. I have made them sad, but i
always try my best as a daughter and i know i could be a better daughter than
what i am now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbsjDW0s3huGGBmT1__agQRU0ezn8lIss5oix8krBxOGJudlYsSBdTVhwRmpqTJ_p9pXqnSO6uaNz-9Xhjm8KRz91itFBtE_Wsmd99GKCAwpGMPZT-KISC-dBZcdpZ4nuHhttmLrVsv43M/s1600/images+(10).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbsjDW0s3huGGBmT1__agQRU0ezn8lIss5oix8krBxOGJudlYsSBdTVhwRmpqTJ_p9pXqnSO6uaNz-9Xhjm8KRz91itFBtE_Wsmd99GKCAwpGMPZT-KISC-dBZcdpZ4nuHhttmLrVsv43M/s1600/images+(10).jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Algerian;">Better not to talk about
friends, i have a lot of them and almost all of them are dear enough to keep
close. My best friend is kinda strange; even i doubt his friendship sometimes. But
deep inside i know, he is the best i could ever get. I was always so committed
to friendship and that has always bought me good, it made me a better person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">I have these strange
relations in my life, a brother, a best friend, never know where it will take
me, but i never felt bad about my relations, it all happens for good, my
greater good. I am ready to face my life with all this people i have, i
believe, i would never be alone, i will always have a hand to hold and a
shoulder to cry on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Algerian;">‘Tears rarely wells up in
my eyes’, if one day i can say that out loud, i won in my life, i won in all
these relations, i have all i ever asked for in my life. And all these people
wants me to be happy forever with them. What all i ask for now is ‘ i want to
have a life, only if it is with them’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-55897275644024294792012-09-20T01:14:00.000-07:002012-09-20T01:14:52.395-07:00It was always HER!!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I don’t know how to describe
her, she just came and went, if somebody ask, was she beautiful? She was, maybe
for others she won’t seem beautiful, but she was breathtakingly beautiful for
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">The relation i had with her
was not into words, i still am not sure about that. A lover, a friend or a
sister? She could be everything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">When i first met her, walking
down against me through the crowded corridor of college, i barely noticed her,
she was some girl walking against me, never did i thought she would become
special once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">She was a bit taller than me
and she was so skinny that almost all small dresses fitted her. The very first
thing i noticed was her hair, it provided that beauty to her face and her eyes
used to be shinning almost all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">She was in a crisp white half
gown when i first met her, i didn’t knew why she preferred formals that day, a
casual khaki and t-shirt would have done the job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I know what all of you expects
me to say. She bumped into me!! No, that didn’t happen, she just went past me and
it was her girl friend, the college beauty queen, i noticed more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">The way we met was sort of
funny; my friend gave me a stupid advice to get through her to her girl friend.
And i thought it was a nice advice as i was being driven crazy by her girl
friend’s charm. And my dear friend made all the arrangements the other day with
her to meet me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I was 10 minutes late and i
saw her waiting for me patiently by reading a book, a novel perhaps, the
restaurant was crowded and i had to get past of many people to reach her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">She lowered her book to stare
at me and she reminded me of my literature professor then. She didn’t greeted
back, oh she never did. She always had a smile on her face when she came across
her friends and she greeted me with a frown as she didn’t knew why i was there
to meet her. If she was known, she would never come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I was not dared to ask ‘what
would you like to have?’ so instead i made a decision on orange juice as that
was what girls preferred whilst boys preferred it over a vodka. She again frowned
at the decision i made, maybe she didn’t liked orange juice, or maybe that i
made the decision on my own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I didn’t knew how to start our
talk, she stared curiously at me and i too stared occasionally whilst i nibbled
on my straw.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘So...are you goanna talk or
what?’ she asked at last, the silence before was freaking both of us out<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘You don’t know what to say?’
that was a statement rather than of a question from her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘So better for me to act!!!’
she did all the talking all the time, she moved in her chair and settled her
hair under her ears, all ready to initiate the so called conversation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘You are Aman from English
department, right?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Yeah’ my voice was stunningly
low as i used to talk loudly always.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Ok, tell me more about you’
she stared right into my eyes, not every girls dared to do that, even i had a problem
with eye contact, wow!! She should be a wonderful speaker, she was bold and
smart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘I live across the church near
Arthur road’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Oh, your family?’ she was the
interviewer here and i really wanted to get past her interrogation, so i had no
other choice than answering all her questions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Me, dad and mom, that is all,
i am an only son’ i said<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘That is showing’ she said
without any hesitation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘What you mean?’ i asked even
after knowing well what she meant, i just didn’t wanted her to be the only one
who ask question, she was a girl after all, Indian girls are meant to have some
limits, it’s really a question of pride for proud Indian men like me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Your outfit, of course,
sunglass and all that’ she said, this time her eyes fixed past me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘I guess you can’t see the sun
high in sky and you really don’t know what a sun glass means’ i was not at all
ready to let her go, i was always so proud of me and i never sat simply before
girls like her, she was so modern and all that and she had a problem with me
wearing sun glass whilst she herself was in a casual shorts and t-shirt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘And what is it with your
outfit, Ms. Perfect?’ Oh god, i was
crossing the line, i was meant to convince her, not to fight with her, but i
couldn’t help fighting with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘I too is an only daughter and
don’t you know that it’s obvious for me to be hashing while my parents are in
states and when i have a always loaded debit card with me here in the city of
dreams’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Wow, you are rich’ was what i
said, I wondered whether she would care to pay the bill, then I could spare it
for a beer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘I guess you have the same
intention as others who took me out for a coffee, or an orange juice, maybe?’
her tone was sarcastic at that orange juice, actually what was the problem with
it, don’t mind!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘You meant Priyanka?’ I asked
mentioning to my girl friend- to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘So I was right’ she made a
face, unexplainable of course. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">As far as I knew about her
then was not really true, she was not that horrible, she had this stupid and
irritating way of talking and that was all, apart from that she was fine,
actually that was not what a horrible person meant to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">We talked for a long time and
by that time we finished up two another drinks, and this time her choice. I was
not a guy who makes the same mistakes with the same girl. First it was all
about Priyanka and then it went too far about herself, about her parents, how
she ended up in India and all that stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">Her parents were once Indians
and she was American, she had her primary and high school education at LA, she
always had this passion to live in India and be an Indian. Even as an Indian, i
never had such thoughts. Her grandparents inspired her to come here. She
convinced her parents to have her college here and that took her a great deal
of hard work, they had never ending demands, like she should have her own
house, her own car and all that, she felt horrible about that, I wonder why,
she was lucky for that, her parents are demanding her to stay rich and
comfortable, they are not like my parents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">My dad want me to go in public
transport because it contribute a great deal to the Indian economy, he was this
Indian economist never known, don’t mention about him to the prime minister,
please. I should live in a hostel, because I should be familiar with all types
of people and i should learn to adjust in life, and my mom wants my pocket
money to be rationalised, so that I would learn to survive in great economic
depression. You must be wondering, why they talk in economic terms, they met
each other at B school. And the only good thing my parents demanding is to have
a girl friend, they are depressed about my love life, they think there is
something really wrong with me, they are not knowing that I am struggling here,
walking behind girls without a penny in my wallet. They are thinking about that
great love they had, they are not aware about the new era love, if they were
known, they should have allowed me more pocket money, they don’t know how
expensive a coffee can get, I usually take my girl friends to beach, the ice
cream there is always cheap as BR never cared to start a outlet there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘If you were really that
passionate about India, Why live in Mumbai, it’s more like America, I meant,
both are cities’ I told her once when we were sitting at a table at CCD, of
course she was paying, she knew me well by then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Parents <i>yaar, </i>parents’ she said and returned to her Americano, coffees have
this strange names and girls love them as it become more expensive, actually
the coffee I could get at street for cheap rate was more tasty than this so
called Americano. Girls want to be civilized and I never dared to mention cheap
coffees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘You could live with your
grandparents, right?’ I asked, out of curiosity, and my doubts were never
ending, I sometimes wonder was I going to be another Einstein. But I had no
doubts in philosophy class; actually I don’t care about a word told by
professor until I face my poor answer paper, so obviously doubts there were out
of question.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘No proper college there,
education too is important; she said, depression shadowing her face,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘That is right though, so you
planning to stay here after college?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘It depends and you know I
don’t think my parents will accept that, whatever happens, I am still an
American, am born American’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘You are born Indian’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘In words and dreams, Aman, I
have to leave this country behind after all’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Come on, <i>yaar, </i>be happy’ I wanted to cheer her up, because by then I didn’t
knew why, her moods started to influence my life a great deal, For the first
time in my life, I cared for someone, I was always into me and even me was
surprised on my miraculous change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I wanted to be myself
everywhere, but I appeared as an entirely different person before her and it
took me a great deal of time to realise that it was what I really am.
Literally, she changed me, in a very convincing way, I no longer fight with my
mom, I no longer spends my weekends on a bunch of beers and cigars. And
surprisingly I too was happy with the new me, I never felt alone and I never
was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">My mom was so happy that I
found somebody, but it was not love that I felt for her, It was something more,
a feeling which seems great than any other feelings in the world to me, it was
beyond love and care, she was so special and irresistible. If somebody ask, was
it friendship?, yeah it was, but still what we shared was yet another kind of
love, indefinable maybe, maybe I am the only person who had such a feelings in
this entire world. I convinced my mom that I am not in love with that girl and
I told her she was just a friend, she surely was a lot more than that, but I
didn’t cared explaining it to my mom, she was not goanna buy that yet another
kind of love and all that crap, even I can’t buy that sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">And if you ask her about me,
she would say, he was my stupidest friend ever; that is a huge compliment
really, don’t ask in what way. I really was stupid with her, she was so damn
emotional all the time and I was a fun-loving person, not that she was against
fun, she wanted to have fun, but never knew why, something always stopped her
from being herself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I never dared to ask her about
that, everybody have their private things and I was scared that I would have to
give my friendship up for that answer, so I decide not to grieve much on that,
we were happy the way we lived and that was more than enough for both of us
then,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">Actually we both were a lot
into each other’s life and we never did agree on that. I knew almost all about
her and still I complain, ‘i barely know you’...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">We fight a lot on that
particular thing, after all fights are a huge part of every relation. For good
or for worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I took her to home to Lucknow,
to meet my parents and to my surprise my mom and dad adored her, even my elder
sister, who never was pleased with any of my choices adored her. There was
really something about that girl, a magic which made me hold on to her. She was
yet another person in front of my parents, I wonder from where she learned this
manners, I barely believe that she got education at states.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">She knew how to be with
peoples, she behaved appropriately. Even I don’t greet my mom and hug her. Her
teasing voice was gone; her high pitch laugh was gone and was replaced with a
cute yet beautiful smile in front of my mom. That was when I knew, I barely
know her and that I had a lot more to see out of that girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘You were so damn good there’
I told her when we were the way back Mumbai.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Thanks’ was what she said at
all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I stared at her when the train
started off towards Mumbai, she had her eyes fixed past me, and I was like
loving every second of our togetherness. She had that charm with in her which
made me stuck with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf5RRHQNGcDcE2YZr4K1OCUyICY4VtT0g4W6WEKL9_xHKdX3W__4c_B-5Yn9dyRYm-hTJiTrbeoNrqw19fgvHVs0IJtUiKsKhrojeDesMzQVNufY4kFL1UUjXhnenQZBUbgBwl4DBL-UmC/s1600/boy,couple,cute,girl,heart,holding,hands,love,photography,pretty,sky,sunset-6337b3b373e70eab74f82c9f0d784d4f_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf5RRHQNGcDcE2YZr4K1OCUyICY4VtT0g4W6WEKL9_xHKdX3W__4c_B-5Yn9dyRYm-hTJiTrbeoNrqw19fgvHVs0IJtUiKsKhrojeDesMzQVNufY4kFL1UUjXhnenQZBUbgBwl4DBL-UmC/s320/boy,couple,cute,girl,heart,holding,hands,love,photography,pretty,sky,sunset-6337b3b373e70eab74f82c9f0d784d4f_m.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">On the other side of my life,
I was getting along well with Priyanka, but there was nothing special as I
thought there would be. I always kept Priyanka a side, because I slowly started
realising that love doesn’t happen that way, but I was always so thankful to
Priyanka, for she was the reason I met someone special in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I slowly started falling for
her; I wanted to make our relation more intimate, which was a stupid thought. I
wanted to tell her that she was special, but I didn’t knew how she would take
that, so I thought better keep quiet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">It was a huge shock for me
when she called me the next day of graduation. It was a pleasant morning with
warm sun and I was sleeping like hell when my phone beeped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Yeah’ I answered the phone in
a half sleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Hey Aman’ it was her sweet
voice which bought me out of sleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘What is it in this early
morning <i>yaar?, </i>I got to sleep tight
today, you know I just got out of those dumps’ I teased her early morning <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘I called to say that I am at
airport to catch the morning flight to LA’ her statement made me jump from the
bed. Even my bags were not packed and she was already at the airport? And she
didn’t care to mention that to me the last night when we were at the graduation
party with Priyanka and all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘What?’ I spitted out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘I am sorry Aman’ she sounded
sincere, It was like she was really sorry for not telling me, she cared after
all?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Don’t come running in your
boxers, I am already at the gate’ she chuckled, what was so damn funny? I
wondered where her great love for India went, she wanted to run away as soon as
she got her degrees, she didn’t came to India with those high grades with her
because she couldn’t get herself into a nice university there. But I was not in
a mood of telling all that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">For the first time in my life,
real tears welled up in my eyes, it was like a part of me going away from me so
soon, and it was like death of my internal organs. I suddenly wanted her in my
arms, i didn’t wanted to let her go, and I belonged with her for god’s sake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Why you didn’t tell me? You
considered it too modest?’ my voice was scratching, I was about to burst up, I
felt sorry for losing somebody for the first time in my entire life. I had an
incomplete future in front of me then and a never ending happy past. Don’t even
ask about the present.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Take care of yourself, will
you, Aman?’ she asked, so concerned for me huh?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Go get a job and keep your
parents happy and look after my Priyanka well, ok?’ why was she acting so
weird, she had no worries about me when she was gone?, she ever thought what I
would be like when she is gone like forever?.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘What about me Esha?’ I asked
her <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">‘Take care, Aman, I will try
calling you, bye’ she said and then the line went dead, I didn’t even got time
to understand what just happened with me, I lost something huge in just a bare
minute?. I stared at my phone, not believing what really happened, I prayed to
god for that to be a bad dream, but that was not, it was so real.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">She didn’t tried calling me
and I didn’t even knew whether she made it into LA until I received a mail from
her after 6 months that she was coming back to India. I send her a lot of mails
and there were no replies and then I knew that special girl of me was out of my
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I couldn’t bear the change
happened in my life and I went back to alcohols and cigars. I was so damned and
I stayed at Mumbai and didn’t care to go home, nor did my mom dared to call me
as she knew what happened with me from Priyanka. After all Priyanka never left
me, she believed in me and knew what I felt for Esha, she was never jealous
about us. This told me I made another right choice in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">This is all about a girl in my
life, she came and went fast and that made all the difference in my life, i
never knew what she was or what relation I had with her, but just knew that she
was special and maybe the angel who came uninvited into my life. At first I
thought I couldn’t survive without her and then I came back normal but I am a
different person now and I love the changes she bought in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">I was fine with my life,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;"> I had others in my life; my friends, my
Priyanka, my mom, dad and sister. She was just a chapter of my life, but that
single chapter made all the differences. I was so broken that I went back to
bad things again, but the realisation stuck me so soon and I came back, life
always does that to us, time heals every wound.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">What I had was no dream, it
was reality but when she left I had to believe that it too was a reality and
learning to cope up with the reality was one of the many things she taught me.
I started caring for people, I had value for relations then on, I believed in
love, I started respecting the economist never known, and I literally started
living like a real Indian man. She helped me to explore me, in another words,
she opened me in front of me and then I started seeing life through yet another
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">The earth was so beautiful,
having fun was a great part of life, but still tears provided its own beauty to
life, she taught me many things and there is always somebody in our life that
help us to explore ourselves, some angels never known!! That angel came by the
name of Esha in my life; just look around, you may find them before they leave
you like forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">After that mail, I had no
other information about her, I don’t know what she is doing?, where she is?,
whether she is alive?, nothing.! Even in this century I cannot keep contact of
her which means she was a real angel? But I believe that I will meet her
again..!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Aharoni;">This is not a love story, but
something more, a realisation that we have somebody special in our life. Someone
who changes the whole us. And everybody will not be always with us, even a very
special person can go away from our life and it doesn’t change the view of us
about them and they will remain a sweet memory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Bradley Hand ITC'; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">And after all we can never
forget them because they will reflect in our every part of life, we will live
through them. Each and every move of our life will bring that very special
person back alive!! And it was her who made me happy to look back at my past
and be curious to look at my future. I owe my Esha a great deal!! </span></h2>
</div>
Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-6565996597492672512012-09-17T07:12:00.006-07:002012-09-17T07:12:55.016-07:00Into the deep!!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">it was all for him, my life, my sacrifices, everything. i had dreamt big
and sacrificed huge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">there is some moments in life where we feel humiliated and sometimes on
stupid basis, it never matter. love is a thing like that where we never feel
humiliated or abandoned, but it happens only in real love. i thought what i had
was real until i found more about him, some truths from him made my mouth drop.
but love was a great thing and forgiveness was a great part of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">when i kept my love and his sins together, his sins weighted more. but my
love glowed brighter and brighter. and girls always chose shiny things and the
same mistake i did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">it was difficult for love to fade away and at the same time sins were worse
unless regretted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">i misunderstood his confession as his regret, but it never was, what he did
was not even confession, but a ticket for worse or in other words a indirect
permission which i gave unknowingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnNZRp53tGB-30XDzITSpcCjWVRSXMA4v0Plh7F-R_A9MIrcVhTHBjQyS-5T4xPLMuIKNWKgUqT1id-_Y4NZGcR8T4VYTU_Xf75D0joif4iOTa8MU6j9EnUrb9YU9ZlEPUNPhMoKUTMRvw/s1600/images+(8).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnNZRp53tGB-30XDzITSpcCjWVRSXMA4v0Plh7F-R_A9MIrcVhTHBjQyS-5T4xPLMuIKNWKgUqT1id-_Y4NZGcR8T4VYTU_Xf75D0joif4iOTa8MU6j9EnUrb9YU9ZlEPUNPhMoKUTMRvw/s1600/images+(8).jpg" /></a><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">when i forgave and remained silent he took advantage of my silence, when
everybody around us thought we had our happy ending, it actually was a sad beginning.
in my life, i have always thought that love was great.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">he was a part of my soul, i called him 'a eternal soul', later only i
realised, i had all my thoughts wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">my love cherished my soul, made my life easy and had no tensions about
future, i believed i really was safe under his arms, i thought that the warmth of him would keep me alive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">what he did was not cheating, i know he loved but he didn't knew to show it
and i never wanted him to, i was happy with my hopes, thoughts and dreams.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">and when i realized that my life was turning upside down, it was so late, all
i could do was stare at my unknown future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">he had no affair with another women, which told me clearly that i was the
only women in his life, i felt proud for that, but what he did was even worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">when cops hunted him and took me for interrogation, i cared for him, i
wanted to hide him from the world under my wings, if it was ever possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">i couldn't believe my own ears, when one cop described what he was, what i
knew of him was just a bit of him, the other part was always a hidden mystery
for me, i never cared to know more about him as he cherished me with his love. i
felt humiliated to know about my own soul mate from another person's holy
mouth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">instead of protecting him ,i kicked him out of our apartment and when he
got caught, for the first time in my life, i had no emotions. silence used to
freak me out, but from then on it became my companion, i was scared of darkness
and from then on i felt scared to show myself up in the bright light.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">i tried dating several another men, to forget him, to forgive myself, but
nothing worked out, nobody and nothing seemed right to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">the darkness and silence drove me crazy, i missed his face every morning, missed
his good night kiss and occasional hugs. i tried hard to forget him, but it was
never possible though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">all corners of my apartment bought him back, each bit of my body and soul
made him alive again in front of me. it was so hard to get rid of memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">he wrote me many letters, each showing his regret and how much he loved me,
love didn't mattered then, it once cherished me and then destroyed me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">i never tried to meet him or contact him, he send me letters regularly and
it all contained the same story, so gradually i
stopped reading those.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">5 years changed me, i was wild and shattered, loneliness made me
courageous, darkness made me forget myself and silence stopped my future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">after 5 long years he showed himself up at my doorstep, straight out from
prison, i had no emotions and surprisingly i didn't slammed the door on his
face nor did i welcomed him inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">once inside he hugged me tight, i hugged him back, i had no emotions on my
face "let's start a new life" he said "forget the past"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">i had nothing in the present and had no hopes for future, all i had was my
past, it was my life and he was asking to forget that, my past, my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">"i love you" i heard him whisper right before i stabbed him with
a knife i had and then he fell down, suddenly emotions came back on my face, i
didn't wanted to do it, i wanted him to smile at me and kiss me, i stared at
his eyes and saw nothing but love, then i knew, it was what i called eternal
love and it all came at the wrong time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">and then there i stood in the silent corridor of city hospital, i wondered
why silence again started to freak me out, it was love which bought me all the
way down there, once again in my life i thought:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">"there is something called love and it is great"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">i went inside the ICU to see him lying peacefully there. he stared at me
and i saw many things in his eyes. love, care, regret, innocence, hope...to my
greatest surprise he was not scared of me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">"will you marry me?"his weak sound questioned. that same question
asked for love and forgiveness, i had already forgave him but i had no more
love or strength to face my life with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">i kissed his forehead and smiled down at him and the next moment, i was out
from there, into the corridor, outside his life. that was the end of my first
love story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">maybe we will meet again, love again and get along together again, but it
all remained as a question along with time, life will answer every questions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">when i walked out of his life, i had dreams, hopes, emotions, tears and all
which i missed for the past 5 years. maybe i will fall in love again, i have
hope, maybe with another man, which is never possible as long as my heart
beats.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "AR BLANCA"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "AR BLANCA";">that was where love bought us, maybe to part from there or to give another
chance for life!!love was great as long as i felt it for him!!it was my first
love story and don't know where time is going to make next</span><span lang="EN"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-1911884899005954742012-09-17T06:50:00.001-07:002012-09-17T06:53:41.835-07:00Back there again!!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">"</span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">This place never changed" i wondered by resting my
head against the leather seat of my blue convertible BMW. i was going back
there again, never in my wildest dreams i thought i would be back there and
there i sat all oblivious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">that road was the same, the trees were the same, even the smell felt
familiar, the only difference was i stared at the sun shining down at me
through the shades of my sunglass and i had a elegant red gown on me instead of
my well ironed uniform. instead of feeling that sizzling road under my foot i
was in a car and i didn't had my friend holding my hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">i always felt hard to think about my school days, not because those days
were worse but because the memories always bought tears in my eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">"zara" ishan's call bought me back to present, until then i was
almost oblivious that i had my husband near me. i saw his face and then i knew
he too was having the same thoughts i was having.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">the tree witnessed our first meeting, the garden bench heard his confession
of love to me, the back veranda where we shared our first kiss, it all came
back in just a mere second.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">this place has witnessed our every falls and heights and had always stood
by our side. i and ish had a lot of problems there, the common indian disputes,
zara malik should not fall for ishaan aroa,i wonder how can anybody fall in
love by investigating the other sex's background, it just happens that way and
no body and nothing can stop that feeling from having and then everything in
our life leads in its way. we do many things, some greatest mistakes of our
life and some great moves we ever took.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">our love was not blind like sheksphere said, but it was true. even our
teachers made a face infront of us. but our friends held us close because they
knew what we really were and how irresistible we felt in our relation. i still
remember my friend hugging me tight when tears flowed through my cheek.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">i never was a bright student, but i was what i am, i had my own capabilities
and limits, i wanted to write and i adored it, no one saw that out of me, my
friends and ish are a exception though. ish always held me close and said"
zara, you will fly high" it comforted me and help me up in my every falls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">my teacher's words still sound high in my mind" miss malik, you won't
reach anywhere in your life" i don't know what she would be thinking now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">when bollywood called me princess and teenagers all over india lived in my
novels and when i became a great part of international business, i don't know
what my teacher think about me, maybe she was right, i reached nowhere in my
life, i lost my family before years, though i have ish ,i still miss my family.
i knew that they would never be proud of what i am now, this was not what they
wanted from their daughter, ish was not a son-in-law they wanted, no matter how
high we reached, if our loved ones are not proud of us, it means, we are a
great loser in life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">ish held me under his protective arms when my dad threw me out of his
house, i had nothing left, but a life with my love, i had no choice left. i had
always lived for my parents and then all of a sudden i was out from that
family, for my own mistakes, which never appeared to me as mistakes as long as
ish loved me. i still am grateful to ish and his mom for welcoming me with open
arms, she is long gone now, she was one of the greatest women i ever met in my
life, she raised ish on her own and always supported him because she always
believed that her son could never go wrong, she was a ideal mother which i will
worship my all life, not just for what she did for me but for the changes she
bought in my and ish's life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYo85WOeOhbVLbeFaSUeCBLgoJMBHg0S48PlfVLy6wQuI5fxk2E_5amMCCLvLLO660CKIsMKb_zCYr8Wkjtkjqm0nCZDVG536-4KBzSuu3CGv8eyW4RdH7W5WFnP8FUwWegkmqPOxwI7w2/s1600/images+(11).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYo85WOeOhbVLbeFaSUeCBLgoJMBHg0S48PlfVLy6wQuI5fxk2E_5amMCCLvLLO660CKIsMKb_zCYr8Wkjtkjqm0nCZDVG536-4KBzSuu3CGv8eyW4RdH7W5WFnP8FUwWegkmqPOxwI7w2/s400/images+(11).jpg" width="400" /></a><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">ish's leg slammed on the break, it made me shake and then the tear i held
back poked my cheek. ish patted my back and kissed my forehead, i don't know
how lucky i should be to have him as my soul mate. when i think, i lost my
family for him, i never regret because he never gave me a chance to. every
holes of my life was filled with his love, he never allowed me to grieve on my
past, he always said" look forward zara, that is where you belong"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">ish never talked about my family, he knew it made me sad, we were a family,
we had each other. he was so caring which sometimes meant to me that he regret
for sins he never committed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">i knew that he believe that. he was the reason for all my loses, as he was
a pessimist, he never did thought that he was the reason for what i am now and
for the glamorous life i am living now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">school was celebrating the launch of their 25th magazine and they wanted
me-a bestselling author and their former student, to do the honor. i didn't
wanted to do that, i never wanted to come back there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">when my car entered through the gate i heard the cheers and applause which
in the next moment told me that no one saw the real zara there, in past nobody
cheered at my entrance, nobody even cared, i wanted the same to happen, if i
was ever coming back, i wanted to come back to that and it was never possible
considering where i stood in the society.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">the very moment i got out of the car i heard my debut film's song playing
in the background and it was loud enough to take those cheers away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">and then i was walking towards the stage, i was nervous, sad ,amazed all at
a time, i didn't even felt this way when i had my first red carpet, it was
something more than red carpet or anything else i have ever had.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">i felt like fainting, ish had his hands slipped around my waist and he held
me tight because like always he was aware of the stress i was on. i had people
in black leading me, ish called them my gaurds, i didn't wanted them there, i
tried hard to avoid them, but sometimes ish seems horribly stubborn, i didn't
wanted somebody protecting me for money when i had the protection rooted from
love right beside me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">when i stood facing the audience, i saw no faces there but the empty
ground, i saw me and ish kissing under a tree, i saw me and my friend bunking
classes and escaping away through the small gate which always used to be open.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">before long years i waved goodbye to these grounds and memories and a
coming back was not expected. it was difficult yet pleasant. maybe i will never
have this chance again, i vowed that i will enjoy my best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">ish elbowed me as i was somewhere else when they called my name. i stood up
and walked toward the mike. i showed 'the magazine' to the crowd, a jolt went
inside me when i held that ,the thought that i was once denied to be a part of
that did that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">i straightened my shoulders and stood confidently like a high school girl
standing to deliver a speech to the school assembly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">"nobody will want to be another zara in anybody's life, i just lived
my life, i just moved on in my every falls, maybe that was the greatest move of
my life. you only know about the glamorous life i lived, it’s not my life, but
only a glorious part of it which i am proud for. i don't want to live this life
which you all wish to live, i don't want anybody to follow my path, for those
who don't know. i have travelled the worse, what you see is not always a
person's life, there is much and much more to it. i should share this with you
that stick on to your love, i have faced miracles in my life because of love, if
you have real love of a person, your dreams are your life" i concluded my
speech, i glanced at ish, he was staring deeply at me, nothing mattered to him,
not even the curious crowd in front of us. he smiled at me, i literally melted
at that .that charming smile has always done the job. i wanted to run into his
arms and to kiss him at that moment, i wanted him to hide me from this world
with his enomerous hug, i wanted to press my face against his tough chest and
lay there forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">we had a party after that, in a auditorium which i believe is newly made
after i left there. party was elegant and i met many people, i also met people
which i always urged to, my best friend, she hugged me at the first sight and
we both didn’t wanted to get out from that warm hug, it bought memories back. i
then knew how much i missed her<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">i met many of my teachers, i was not so close to anybody as i was not a
bright student. yeah there was one teacher, he was close enough to share a long
hug, he inspired me and he was the only teacher who supported me all along, i
felt happy for coming when i saw him and my best friend, if i didn't came, i
may never have felt those warm bodies against me ever again in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">when i said goodbye i didn't made promises expect to my best friend that i
will meet her again, we made arrangements to meet again, to meet her husband
and twins, her husband was my ish's close friend, theirs was a hidden love
story which at last had a happy ending in all ways, not that i meant i had a
bad ending, having ish with me is all i could ever ask for me. i knew that my
parents or my brother didn't made a attempt to see me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">when i left the campus it was almost dark outside, i saw my school
illuminating in the twilight. i had last sight of it, i thought i would never
come back, but i did, so when i leaved i vowed inside that i will again come
there and have memories again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">my car was speeding away when i saw a person standing outside the gate
staring at me, i knew the next second, that it was my brother, i saw his misty
eyes, i wanted to go back but i was already away, i stared at him as much as i
could, he disappeared when ish took a bend in the road. i should come back once
more to the beautiful village of punjab, i knew when i saw a glimpse of my
brother, i have to, i thought and i wiped my tears away, we didn't talked, but
so many things were shared without words, that was a great thing about
brotherhood, no matter where his sister is he can never forget or avoid her all
his life, i knew we will get back along may be some other time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">i sat forward and flipped the pages of magazine and i saw my words in it., they
proudly presented in it, i didn't knew what i should feel, happy, proud?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">"it was me standing there<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">leaning against the wall<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">dreams up high and when<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Segoe Print"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe Print";">it came to life, i won"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-23352824080622788182012-04-18T02:00:00.001-07:002012-04-18T02:00:17.072-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Being alone and feeling alone is two entierly different things.when we are alone somewhere sometimes we would feel great and we would never be alone,sometimes we would be lost in our good memories and sometimes when we are in a room packed of people,we would feel alone,we won't hear any sounds,we won't catch any eyes and we would never care about the people staring at us.and that's the worst thing happen to me and to everyone's surprise i am always like this</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i always love being alone rather than that of feeling alone,when i am alone,almost all the times ,i used to lost in my thoughts and music always made my lonliness sweet,it's great when we are alone if there is something which would help us to cure it.and if i am making it clear,i love being alone.not my entire life,no ways for that,i can't be alone forever,i too love being with my family and friends.but it really depends on how i think about it that time.i don't know how it sounds to others.funny or thinking that i seriously have some problems.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">everyone should be tiered of my alone thing.it's like blah blah blah.should talk about something else right and how about travelling.it's a good and interesting thing for me atleast.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE-BqMILKnH3_Mrah9VCV6ejg_ULeO_sJEGJHbbEEN5zrdQnOQ_DUiVTjjLRY4cEj5P94gEv7Q9sO20BlPm7kIFFowex7eBr9W667rGIBX-slAoz4tj3GaILe6trJmSZFLzKpGJOYRdzfX/s1600/images+%25287%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE-BqMILKnH3_Mrah9VCV6ejg_ULeO_sJEGJHbbEEN5zrdQnOQ_DUiVTjjLRY4cEj5P94gEv7Q9sO20BlPm7kIFFowex7eBr9W667rGIBX-slAoz4tj3GaILe6trJmSZFLzKpGJOYRdzfX/s1600/images+%25287%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">it's one of the things i love to do .it's really great to watch different people and to observe different cultures.sometimes it's strange for us to know how much different they are from us.and like many of others i too have dream spots.it's wiered to say that i will travel all over the world.i don't think like that anyway,there is some place where i dream to go,it's not mostly cities but there is some cities like london and rome.i love cold places mainly,that's why i fancy europe and i really like north of india,i will go there one day,i think.when we watch places in films and all and if we really adore it,it will come in our dreams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">anyway we are free to dream right,so i can dream as much as i want.most of the time we wish to make our dreams true,and sometimes we work for it but i am not the hard working one,but i work.my parents can make most of my dreams true,but i don't want that to happen,because my dreams are mine,not any one's else,it doesn't mean that "i want to do it alone,i don't want anyone's help"it's not like that at all.i want everyone to be a part of my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i am really thankfull to god for giving me all this,for those loving sacred gods ,for the life he gave me.i too have problems,but when i think about the things he gave me,i forget all my loses,anyway i don't have many to lie on.</span></div>Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-57242310441057012022012-04-14T02:10:00.001-07:002012-04-14T02:10:06.861-07:00<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">maybe yesterday was a great day but definitely not for me.parks were always my stuff but don't know what was wrong with me yesterday.and yesterday was my night out and i used to enjoy all outings and i am in dubai for god's sake.i loved this place than anything because there was always something special here.this was the one other place where i felt at home.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">all the days we would come across lots of strangers here ,all of them having different lifestyles and views and then comes the common thing in towns which i love,no one would ever care what we do,everybody got their own things to care for.that's not good stuff always but sometimes it's the best.</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgONkSRgA4dhI2OJEUGw-Dukx9hNJtU4axKYX_qBxApRpMdoWsBej9sAlemplzeYjKKL-0T8TYcR-uUmHs_GVqADXtWsc_SdSLgN5zYwdpHKn69ZmSV_ILkXx1evqPq8ReHsQDzfKLyc4cr/s1600/images+%25286%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgONkSRgA4dhI2OJEUGw-Dukx9hNJtU4axKYX_qBxApRpMdoWsBej9sAlemplzeYjKKL-0T8TYcR-uUmHs_GVqADXtWsc_SdSLgN5zYwdpHKn69ZmSV_ILkXx1evqPq8ReHsQDzfKLyc4cr/s1600/images+%25286%2529.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">if we are in a shopping mall,it's like we are free to do anything.i am not a shopaholic but shopping is a girl thing and i love it,i spent money on some certain stuffs like dresses.i had no interest in electronics but now i fancy it,definitely it is the influence of my nephew.he's going after everything in the market which caught my interest.i like to watch him checking out his type of stuffs.he is crazy about cars and he is our car encyclopedia.it's like ask him about that car don't spend time googling,even my dad ask about cars to him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">talking of cars,in dubai ,if we are on road we would come across a lot of different cars,expensive and cheap,stylish and needy,small and big,roaring sports and choking trucks.but when we see all those cars together we won't feel much difference.and dubai is a place were all people come together and now when i lie on my bed watching the road, i feel great,i see people with different lifes,doing different things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and yesterday i felt strangely alone,don't ask me why.i have no answer.i was just so alone,i love to do crazy things,but i am so different now,all my friends would know that,they watched me transform,maybe that is to do with my age,but my heart says that it's not just that.something's really happening to me, i feel like i am cheating myself and on top of all,i care about everybody but me ,maybe that's my big mistake and i don't feel like fixing it ,i am not gonna give a try at lest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i am not alone ,i can see a lot of sacred souls loving me,caring me,standing beside me and holding my hand and i know that they would never let me go from them.family is a great thing god gave me.because they all were there for me always and i know it's a forever thing.we fight and we love,we cry and we laugh,we share and we smile and we hold our hands always.we all are always so special to our parents no matter how much we had grown we are always their lovely daughters.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and i realised at last that my best friend was not a mistake of my life,what i chose was never wrong,i never deserved more than that,what i got is more than nessecary and i thank almighty for all this special things which he gave me in my life.no one can be perfectely happy,so i am SORT OF HAPPY and i keep telling my mind that i am not ALONE but still i feel it,i don't know who can fix it but i know that right now no soul can fix it ,i really am alone in my own world.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">only thing i miss here is my friends..</span>Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6194456472061615862.post-61415033763978507052012-04-08T10:14:00.002-07:002012-04-08T10:14:37.394-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>Although i call myself as zara zelliene that's not what i am called after by my dad and mom,i am ameena cv,i don't know how it sounds to others but it is sweet for me , at least that's what my parents found for me.then you may wonder why i took the other name for my blog.there is only one reason,zara is the girl in my dreams,she can do whatever she want because she don't really exsist she can dream as much as she want,she is not ameena but a part of ameena,a part i can't live without.she have to live for my survival.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>she is not a good writer but there is something in zara,some magic which can make me happy and satisfied.and i thought of a lot of ways to explore zara and at last i found it,this is it,a blog!!!</i></b></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfTW1MzXjY7shEwNgy6GhIUbmz-8VF6gATba1q2rl4HH8Mp6wrTWaIwjvuiuRIoF2CxNq_e_Q-0CPVkwKQ2ZHNIuWFTfMVwBkIHlaqbzFglvFE-4-RlL4uWKuYd86OHB40PL55651nKZau/s1600/157130_100001678080885_811919827_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfTW1MzXjY7shEwNgy6GhIUbmz-8VF6gATba1q2rl4HH8Mp6wrTWaIwjvuiuRIoF2CxNq_e_Q-0CPVkwKQ2ZHNIuWFTfMVwBkIHlaqbzFglvFE-4-RlL4uWKuYd86OHB40PL55651nKZau/s1600/157130_100001678080885_811919827_n.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>and now if i am talking about me more i should say that i am so commited to friendship and maybe that's my weak point , i have always wanted a best friend and my life for the past 3 years was all about that.i had options and i chose and i don't know wheather it was the right option.i dreamt and i excpected .i cared about all those who were related to me and most of the times i considered about my friends rather than of me.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>and surprisingly i have no regrets because i cared about someone.and above all that i see my parents as the first thing in my life and i can't even imagine a life without them.i loved to fight with my mom because i believe fights are a part of love.we dont't fight with strangers ,do we? we will fight with only those we care and love.i am living my life in the way my parents lead it,one of my friends told me that we should live as we like,i don't deny him but i can't accept it.as i am a girl who lives as my parents ask me to,i should say that we should consider our parents as the first thing in our life.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>different people have different views about life and here it's all about me and how i see my life and i would love to share about my little but sweet life with you,it may not seem interested but still it's life and it's all about me.it's all about a girl who saw dreams by knowing that it was beyond her eyes,but she always opened her heart in a hope that more love could find it and fill it.</i></b></span><br />
<br /></div>Ameena Cvhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612399287453247120noreply@blogger.com1