Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Being alone and feeling alone is two entierly different things.when we are alone somewhere sometimes we would feel great and we would never be alone,sometimes we would be lost in our good memories and sometimes when we are in a room packed of people,we would feel alone,we won't hear any sounds,we won't catch any eyes and we would never care about the people staring at us.and that's the worst thing happen to me and to everyone's surprise i am always like this
i always love being alone rather than that of feeling alone,when i am alone,almost all the times ,i used to lost in my thoughts and music always made my lonliness sweet,it's great when we are alone if there is something which would help us to cure it.and if i am making it clear,i love being alone.not my entire life,no ways for that,i can't be alone forever,i too love being with my family and friends.but it really depends on how i think about it that time.i don't know how it sounds to others.funny or thinking that i seriously have some problems.
everyone should be tiered of my alone's like blah blah blah.should talk about something else right and how about's a good and interesting thing for me atleast.
it's one of the things i love to do .it's really great to watch different people and to observe different cultures.sometimes it's strange for us to know how much different they are from us.and like many of others i too have dream's wiered to say that i will travel all over the world.i don't think like that anyway,there is some place where i dream to go,it's not mostly cities but there is some cities like london and rome.i love cold places mainly,that's why i fancy europe and i really like north of india,i will go there one day,i think.when we watch places in films and all and if we really adore it,it will come in our dreams.
anyway we are free to dream right,so i can dream as much as i want.most of the time we wish to make our dreams true,and sometimes we work for it but i am not the hard working one,but i parents can make most of my dreams true,but i don't want that to happen,because my dreams are mine,not any one's else,it doesn't mean that "i want to do it alone,i don't want anyone's help"it's not like that at all.i want everyone to be a part of my life.
i am really thankfull to god for giving me all this,for those loving sacred gods ,for the life he gave me.i too have problems,but when i think about the things he gave me,i forget all my loses,anyway i don't have many to lie on.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

maybe yesterday was a great day but definitely not for me.parks were always my stuff but don't know what was wrong with me yesterday.and yesterday was my night out and i used to enjoy all outings and i am in dubai for god's sake.i loved this place than anything because there was always something special here.this was the one other place where i felt at home.
all the days we would come across lots of strangers here ,all of them having different lifestyles and views and then comes the common thing in towns which i love,no one would ever care what we do,everybody got their own things to care for.that's not good stuff always but sometimes it's the best.
if we are in a shopping mall,it's like we are free to do anything.i am not a shopaholic but shopping is a girl thing and i love it,i spent money on some certain stuffs like dresses.i had no interest in electronics but now i fancy it,definitely it is the influence of my nephew.he's going after everything in the market which caught my interest.i like to watch him checking out his type of stuffs.he is crazy about cars and he is our car's like ask him about that car don't spend time googling,even my dad ask about cars to him.
talking of cars,in dubai ,if we are on road we would come across a lot of different cars,expensive and cheap,stylish and needy,small and big,roaring sports and choking trucks.but when we see all those cars together we won't feel much difference.and dubai is a place were all people come together and now when i lie on my bed watching the road, i feel great,i see people with different lifes,doing different things.
and yesterday i felt strangely alone,don't ask me why.i have no answer.i was just so alone,i love to do crazy things,but i am so different now,all my friends would know that,they watched me transform,maybe that is to do with my age,but my heart says that it's not just that.something's really happening to me, i feel like i am cheating myself and on top of all,i care about everybody but me ,maybe that's my big mistake and i don't feel like fixing it ,i am not gonna give a try at lest.
i am not alone ,i can see a lot of sacred souls loving me,caring me,standing beside me and holding my hand and i know that they would never let me go from is a great thing god gave me.because they all were there for me always and i know it's a forever thing.we fight and we love,we cry and we laugh,we share and we smile and we hold our hands always.we all are always so special to our parents no matter how much we had grown we are always their lovely daughters.
and i realised at last that my best friend was not a mistake of my life,what i chose was never wrong,i never deserved more than that,what i got is more than nessecary and i thank almighty for all this special things which he gave me in my one can be perfectely happy,so i am SORT OF HAPPY and i keep telling my mind that i am not ALONE but still i feel it,i don't know who can fix it but i know that right now no soul can fix it ,i really am alone in my own world.
only thing i miss here is my friends..

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Although i call myself as zara zelliene that's not what i am called after by my dad and mom,i am ameena cv,i don't know how it sounds to others but it is sweet for me , at least that's what my parents found for me.then you may wonder why i took the other name for my blog.there is only one reason,zara is the girl in my dreams,she can do whatever she want because she don't really exsist she can dream as much as she want,she is not ameena but a part of ameena,a part i can't live without.she have to live for my survival.
she is not a good writer but there is something in zara,some magic which can make me happy and satisfied.and i thought of a lot of ways to explore zara and at last i found it,this is it,a blog!!!
and now if i am talking about me more i should say that i am so commited to friendship and maybe that's my weak point , i have always wanted a best friend and my life for the past 3 years was all about that.i had options and i chose and i don't know wheather it was the right option.i dreamt and i excpected .i cared about all those who were related to me and most of the times i considered about my friends rather than of me.
and surprisingly i have no regrets because i cared about someone.and above all that i see my parents as the first thing in my life and i can't even imagine a life without them.i loved to fight with my mom because i believe fights are a part of love.we dont't fight with strangers ,do we? we will fight with only those we care and love.i am living my life in the way my parents lead it,one of my friends told me that we should live as we like,i don't deny him but i can't accept i am a girl who lives as my parents ask me to,i should say that we should consider our parents as the first thing in our life.
different people have different views about life and here it's all about me and how i see my life and i would love to share about  my little but sweet life with you,it may not seem interested but still it's life and it's all about's all about a girl who saw dreams by knowing that it was beyond her eyes,but she always opened her heart in a hope that more love could find it and fill it.